Heart's Desire (bwwm)

2. Blast From The Past

So I checked my story and noticed that four people read it. Can you say fan-freaking-tastic. yasssssssss thanks so much guys .Now before I continue with the story I need at least one comment , one word. that word can either make me or break me. So please comment and vote that's all I'm asking for. Cause if y'all don't like the story tell me now so I don't make a fool of myself.

Cece

As I'm driving to work I started to think back on how far I have come to gain my freedom. At the age of twenty five you would never expect a person still living with their parents although some people do stick around to save money or maybe their parents are sick, eighteen years they spent dedicating their life to you to ensure you had somewhere better to go of course you better stick around. Their are many other aspects of why some children stay home after high school and college, but I didn't stay because of any of those reasons I stayed because I had no choice, my mother wanted to keep an eye on me.

My mother got pregnant at a very young age, you know the story where  the dad was so in love with the mom, that even after he found out she was pregnant he stuck around and help raise a beautiful baby in a beautiful home, full of love and happiness and maybe died in an accident at a young age? Well sorry to burst your bubbles, but this is not the story.

It all started when my mother was 17 years old, she was a beautiful, innocent, shy young lady raised in beautiful home with great, loving, yet strict parents.

When my mother was on her last year of high school she met a man name Richard, he was her tennis coach back when she played. As a shy teenager , my mother never had a boyfriend or any guy friends as the fact, so when her tennis coach told her she looked beautiful after homecoming she did in fact feel beautiful she couldn't take the big grin off her face. One month passed and mom started to have feelings for him, mind you he was 30 and she was 17,  one day after tennis practice while she was talking to her friend about her new crush, her coach overheard their conversation and asked her to stay after for just five minutes.

My mother, who thought she was in troubled stayed with no hesitation and when she walked in his office, he told her to close the door and he asked her if it was true. My mother playing dumb asked if what was true causing Richard to repeat exactly what she had said earlier before he later confessed that he liked her as well. Richard kissed her on the cheek and sent her home with butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

For the next couple of weeks, she would always stay after tennis practice just to talk to him, mom was so in love with him she believed he might be her one. Unfortunately one afternoon when she stayed he kissed her on her lips but he got a little touchy. My mother being young and innocent felt uncomfortable and she told him to stop, Richard only smiled at her and told her he would wait as long as he had to  for her.

He kept his promise for just a week after their last game, while my mom was in the locker room taking a shower Richard walked in there telling everybody to hurry and get out because he had to close the locker room soon. My mom always being the last one taking  her time so when she got out with a towel wrapped around her body  everyone was gone the whole locker room looked deserted . She shrugged her shoulders and started drying up; while she lotion up her legs someone bend down and put a hand over her mouth she started screaming and fighting until she finally turned around she saw that it was Richard mom felt calm for just a second but when she saw that he didn't stop and was trying to pull the towel off of her, she started screaming again and kept on squirming and fighting until she couldn't anymore.

She was raped 

Mom went home that night and never spoke of blaming herself for leading him on, unfortunately she had gotten pregnant with me that night by her rapist and she hated herself, she hated Richard and she hated all men in general.

Always making weak promises.

Weeks later she was kicked out by her parents when they found out she was pregnant, mom packed her bags and left the only home she knew was in a shelter for months. To provided for herself she worked two jobs until she gave birth to me so she could have afforded a place for us. She never heard from Richard. She never graduated from high school and she was so close. And the rest is history.

I'm 25 and I've never had a boyfriend in my life, never dated, never been to a party, I've done nothing spontaneous. I don't know how and why she finally let me out into the big bad world but I didn't question her one bit. So I said a big thank you to my mother and moved to Florida, I loved my mom but she has to realize that I will have to date one day and every time I bring up the subject, she reminds me that I'm the daughter of a rapist. No men will ever want me I wasn't created out of love.

I was a sin.

No sane man wants me , and if they do it's only for what's between my legs. She tells me that men only use the word I Love You to get what they want but her, she will always love me and want me because I'm her shame. I should stay single and bare my shame all by myself.

So I did I stayed single.

I didn't bring more shame into our messed up family I listened. I was then and now still her "shameful little angel" Mama always right, men treat female like trash and the one who actual love their women they pick women outside their marriage to make them feel like trash, since I'm already a sin and no men will ever love me after they learn my secret why go through the heart break when I can stay single and away from men. I'm already the daughter of a rapist I don't want to add the word whore to my list, her words not mine.

I realized that I was crying and quickly whipped off the tears forgetting the reason for them, I can't show up to my destination with red eyes.

Add's Inc.

This was a new beginning a new me and her giving me the opportunity to move away from home.

I had to abide by her rules.

So tell me what y'all thinking.

Is her her mom right? wrong?

Tell me how you think her new life will be like. will she ever recover from all the pain

Stay tune to find out

Next chapter, she gets to meet her coworkers and you get to learn a little bit about her career. so please vote and comment.

Edited by Nieskaa

Till next time my lovelies.. :)