Eighteen Ain't So Sweet

Late night talks with virgins

Chapter 8

7:09 p.m

"Hello?" Josie answers the phone.

"What are you doing right now?" I ask her hoping the answer was nothing.

"Baby sitting." Shit! So not what I was hoping for. She has a ten year old sister and a seven year old brother her parents put off on her often to go out.

"Shit!" I yell into the phone.

"Whats up?" What kind of question is that, she knows I only call her for one reason.

"Nothing, never mind." I say hanging up without waiting for her to respond. Fuck who can I call... Oh, I know... My thought was interrupted by someone knocking on my bedroom door. I get up and open the door. Oh my God. It's Spencer. I feel my heart starting to beat faster in my chest. She's smiling. Why is she smiling what does she want? I open my mouth to ask but nothing comes out.

"Hey, I know you're probably wondering what I want." Damn right. "I just came to talk to you about earlier. I know that I was out of line and I'm sorry, if I offended you in any way." No don't be sorry, because if you're sorry you didn't mean it and I need to mean it. I need you to like me.

"Its okay." Is all I could manage to get out.

"Okay good. So no rancorous feelings?" Huh? English please. I guess my facial expression said what my mind was thinking. "You're not mad at me?" Oh.

"No." Why would I be? Because you're playing with my heart and rubbing it in my face.

"Good. So I guess I'll be getting back or Kyla might come looking for me." I don't want you to go. Stop her Ashley, don't let her walk away. As she was turning to leave I grabbed her hand. She turns and looks at me. Do something. And fast. Without thinking I move toward her and I hesitate at first but then I... I kiss her. I can't believe shes kissing me back. Wait is this our first kiss. I think it is. IT IS! She's a great kisser. I rub my tongue across the bottom of her lip asking for permission to deepen the kiss and I'm glad when she accepts.

She's walking forward which means I'm walking backwards towards the bed. This is so not happening. I fall back onto the bed and she's on top of me with both legs on either side of my body straddling me. Wait my door is open, I can't have my parents or some one else walking in on us. It wasn't so hot the first time and I'm not up for that again. I move her off me and run over to shut the door and lock it.

I return to the bed. Now I'm on top of her. She's killing my lips right now, like she doesn't do this often. Don't get me wrong she's a GREAT kisser she's just an enthusiastic one so to speak.

I sit up to take my shirt off and continue letting her assault my lips. She reaches around my back and unclasps my bra and pulls it down from my shoulders. Everything seems to be going in slow motion at this point. I haven't felt this way since I was 13.

She turns us over so that she is now on top. She rips off her shirt and is now unbuttoning my pants. She's looking down at me and staring straight into my eyes. This is all too much for me. I'm used to meaningless sex and right now I feel like this means something. She means something. I don't want to, believe me I don't want to, but I stop her. I get up grab my shirt off the floor throw it back on and run out of the room and out the front door. Leaving her half naked on my bed.

I'm walking now, where I'm not really sure. I have no particular destination in mind all I know is that I can't be there, not with her. Why am I walking you ask? Well I kind of left my keys and my cell on my computer desk so I kind of have no choice.

I stop at the local park and just sit down. Its dark out now so no one's really here. What the hell did I just do. I left her. I left her half naked and confused on my bed. I started it. I could have let her go but no I had to kiss her. Shit. Now she probably isn't going to talk to me ever again. I wouldn't blame her. If she would have kept her blue eyes to herself we wouldn't be having this problem right now. I never look a girl in the eyes for more than three seconds while having sex. Its a dumb rule I know. But its a rule.