Come back to me.

Heart Breaks

It was Christmas Eve and I haven’t talked to Andy sense the mistletoe incident.

I haven’t been able to sleep very well myself. Not only because of the lingering tingle in my lips every time I thought about the kiss, but because I felt my best friend slipping away from me. He’s not the same Andrew he was years ago.

I got him a Christmas present anyway.

I made him a scrap book of pictures of us over the years and got him Dodger baseball tickets. He was a big fan.  

It’s the best I could do. I know I’m going to have to see him Christmas morning which will be awkward. My family invites his family every year for Christmas morning, even now with Shane, no Grace, and Andy stealing my first kiss and running off to a date.

Yeah this Christmas isn’t going to be as amazing as the years before.

I’ve talked to Shane, he called me last night. I’m not sure if it went well or not. I felt so angry at myself for having these feelings for his brother and not him. He actually seems to truly like me.

 Which makes it even harder on me.

“Vicki I know what risk I’m taking okay. I just… I want to gives us a try.”

“Shane…. I like you a lot.”

“But?” he said hearing it clearly in my voice.

 “But things between me and Andy right now… aren’t that great. I don’t want to make things worse and end up losing him as my best friend.”

“He’ll never approve of us being together would he?”

“No he wouldn’t… but I can’t let him control my life.”

“So are you saying yes… to going on a date with me?”

“I’m saying give things some time and let me think about it.”  

“I can do that.”

“Shane… why me? There are tones of girls out there that would jump at any chance to be with you but you don’t even give them a second glance. Why?”

“Because you aren’t like the other girls. Most of them are just fake and only care about themselves.”

“Well I’m sure all of them aren’t like that…. the good ones are the ones that don’t throw them self’s at you. I’m sure there are a couple of girls out there that disserve you way more then I would. You just haven’t given her a chance or even noticed her yet”

“I don’t want them V. I want to give us a try.”

I sighed.

“Okay…”

“I’ll give you, your time. No rush.”

“Thank you Shane.”

“No problem V. I’ll see you Christmas morning.”

“See you Christmas morning.”

I got Shane a Christmas present to. I got him a t-shirt from his favorite band and a couple of CD’s. I did like Shane. He was cute, nice, and we got along great. I just wish I only had brotherly feeling for Andy. I wish I could connect to Shane the way I connect to Andy. I feel like Andy and I were the same person sometimes.

I wish I could go back in time to where everything was alright.

I abruptly get up and call Margo to give me a ride to Andy’s house.