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Monday night I sat down with Hector in what was left of our family room to talk. I was still sore and angry over losing abuela, coming home from Rowland made the loss and pain all too real and hard to forget.
I didn't want to be babied or coddled though. I wanted to be there for Hector for once. Just like I owed Nash for all that he so freely gave to me.
Bob had called and we talked about me returning to work during the upcoming weekend. It was all about moving forward. And I wanted to do so as strong and as unified as possible.
I sat in my pajamas comfortably next to my older brother. He looked a little tired and his hair looked ruffled from stressfully running his hands through it.
All I could do was dream of a future where he'd only smile and laugh, and not deal with grief all the time.
"Thank you for letting me get away, with him," I said.
Hector rubbed my knee. "No problem. Mom called."
No longer did I know what to feel at the mention of my mother. Hearing Nash's story almost made me surer on where I stood against her. His mother had considered them before otherwise abandoning him and Alec. With the way Nash touched me, cuddled me, and clung to me, it was obvious he'd needed nurturing growing up and missed that when his mother left and his brother had gone all Nazi on him. Showing him how much I loved him felt like an honor. Deep down, Nash was just a boy, a boy in need of love.
Like Hector.
"What about you? Are you good?" I asked.
My brother shrugged. "This thing with Nash will take some getting used to."
"Beyond him. Are you good?"
Hector gave me a lazy smile. "I'm surviving."
I reached out and held his shoulder. "Do more than that."
He gave my knee a squeeze. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. Meet a girl, fall in love, get married and leave all this behind. Nash isn't the only one who needs to walk away from the gang world."
My brother frowned. "With us, it's about family. We're a different kind of set, Nina."
"Once the war gets started all Soldiers are getting called to arms. I don't want to see you get hurt, Hector." Not only him, I needed Mariposa to stop associating with the Soldiers and the gang world as well. Yes, we all grew up around it and considered them family, but at some point we had to be practical and get out while we still could. The world was full of Rowlands and it was up to us to go after it instead of settling for the abysmal state that was Hacienda Heights.
