the decayed

A Scorching

He remained dead.

The victim was not my soul mate, after all. 

There was a scorching in my chest, a burn on my lungs, the shriek of my heart as if flat-lining and a trickle of sour between my lips and my teeth. I dropped to my knees. I spat out the victim's blood and trudged towards my curse's calling. 

I am a vampire and my species, we are destined to be alone until we find our soul mate. Until then, we kill and slaughter by draining blood from victims, they are unable to stop us and we are unable to stop ourselves. We consume their strength and intelligence along with their blood. More and more corpses fall at our feet and more and more blood ends up in our stomachs. The sole victim who does not remain dead is our soul mate.

And I am still searching.

All we ever wanted was to crush our world of solitude into where it belonged--an infinity of nothingness--and from its ruins, for us to rise and with a beat in our hearts. 

That was all. Absolutely all.

...

I littered my life with things of the shadows--poison, fear and danger--they crawled and creeped in my walls and in my mind. I hated it. The 'why' was out of my grasp and understanding, maybe it was repentance or maybe because I too was never born of light and my first cradle was anchored in the darkness. Anchored there. Forever. Why do demons live in everyone's heads? Even the demons' themselves?  Stop. Stop. Stop. Too much thinking. I cannot stop to think too much, I'm rocking back and forth, I'm going to fall off the chair soon. I don't want to. I can't stop thinking though, I can't. The chair is crumbling as I do and it's slipping closer and closer to the edge and I am helping it to. 

I need to calm down. I need to bathe. Drown in cold waters, the coldest withstandable. Drown, drown, drown. Submerge. Temporarily. Maybe. I made my way to the end of the hall. A chaotic jumble of sizzling and clapping rung in my ears. The walls and doors, the hallways, my home melted and melded together with the darkness. The door was ajar.

The door knob was clouded with smoke. I grasped it and snatched my hand away almost immediately due to a scorching and a nasty red hue. Someone was in here. Did I even dare to find out who? Or what? The sizzling faded, however, the clapping slaughtered the silence as it blossomed into a crescendo, louder and louder. I grasped the doorknob once again and flung the door open. The pale bronze-tinted tub was in the centre and smoke unfurled from it. I rushed to the tub and kneeled as I grasped the edges of it. In the water, was a gooey substance. Red polka dotted black flesh and blood, between liquid and solid. Melted. Burned. Scorched. My beloved pet, my black widow spider. Dear Celosiah. 

My breath rattled as I tried to breathe, really I did. I whipped around. She stood there, my room mate. Tangles and curls added to her appearance of being from the wild of which she was. Savage. Murderous. And about to be murdered. I lunged. I dug my nails into her sinewy neck as my fingers formed a circle. ''How...How dare you? Jade, how?'' A growl, a raise of the chin, a tight forced smile and a knife of bone to the ribs was all I got in response. ''Well played.'' I lowered my hands. ''But, I want the story. An explanation, now. Jadediah.''

''Fool. Celosiah burn for spell. Spell,  my spell, was so you find love soon. You kill too many people, I keep too many secrets. Too long. Go, go find him. Spider or human, human is much more valuable. I, Jade, have helped you. Me, you owe.'' 

I snarled in reply and pushed over the tub, the water gathered over and at her feet. I rushed out of the room. The cobblestones served as rough terrain for my feet clad in thin soles. My journey continued, twisting back and forth between left and right as I ran and ran. I darted into an alleyway and found my victim. The scent of his blood was tantalizing and alluring, I ran my tongue over my teeth and laughed as I ran towards him.

I was knocked over by a man. A young man of the church. I pulled on his hand until I was standing. His hands were rough and the cross of his necklace scorched me as it barely skimmed my skin. Gosh, his blood was even more alluring than the other person’s. I couldn’t kill and slaughter but I couldn’t stop my hunger. There was a scorching in my throat, my stomach felt too empty, my knees threatened to falter.

I closed my eyes and spun around, pushing him up against the wall with a hand curling onto his neck. His heartbeat thudded underneath my fingertips, I felt its acceleration of it and of his blood as it ran through his veins. I couldn’t. I could. I had to. The impulse grabbed me and I craned my neck as my teeth ripped into his flesh. Bubbles of blood frothed from his mouth yet he didn’t scream. His pulse decreased. I dropped him, dinner was done and regret was dessert.

I felt something different this time.

There was a warm melting in my chest, a sun on my lungs, the beat of my heart as if in love and a trickle of sweet between my lips and my teeth. I dropped to my knees. I swallowed the victim's blood and trudged towards my curse's ending.

He did not remain dead.

The victim was my soul mate, after all. 

‘‘You…Will you love me? Do you not hate solitude, do you not want to crush it into where it belongs, an infinity of nothingness?’’ I whispered, walking closer and closer to him. I crouched, grasping his hand. 

He slowly rose and said in a pain filled but unrelenting voice, ‘‘I-I am a man of the church. I will not love a devil, a vampire. I…I will not love you here or now, I will fight temptation.’’ He pried his hand away and himself into the depths of the alleyway and separation. My vision wobbled onto a glimpse of something. We held each other's hands, adorned with gold rings. His hand was cold, mine were warm. It wobbled again to a part of myself in a hospital gown. 

What? It wobbled once more and I shook my head, ran up behind him and grabbed his shoulder. My mouth parted in shock, I stuttered incoherently. ‘‘S-s-so, not here, not now. What about there and later?’’ The tall figure pivoted around and as he did, impulse ruled once again and I stabbed us both, the stake from my pocket, plunging deep into our hearts.

…

‘‘Ma’am, during your earlier state of hypnotism, you were deluded into stabbing both you and your husband in an attempt to go to heaven and love. Your husband, we were unfortunately unable to save. In his will, he has given all of his possessions, wealth and land to you. You shall be released today from our hospital and care.’’

What? I had no husband, I was a vampire, wasn’t I? Memories swarmed into my head and I recalled. I am human. I had married a sweet young wonderful man. Though...I had to do something. I had to do it, otherwise he would have left me. 

My fifth husband was dead. There was a scorching in my chest, a burn on my lungs, the shriek of my heart as if flat-lining and a trickle of sour between my lips and my teeth. Everything would have been perfect, if they had just loved me. They always left me, they never gave me what I deserved. Why?

I had killed him. I killed and slaughtered all my husbands, they had nothing to offer me except of their possessions, wealth, land and their blood heritage.

I…I am a thief of everything except unfortunately, hearts. I am a black widow. What did you expect?

~