The Reason Why [✓ Completed~ editing]

Chapter 13: Losing it

Chapter 13

*Adrians Vlachos*

I couldn't help it. And I knew from that moment I'd never be able to forgive myself. This hadn't happened for such a long time that when I started, it felt so alien to me.

I cried.

I didn't want it to happen, I really didn't! I had tried so hard to suppress it but when Alexa looked so casual and unhappy to see me, I couldn't hold it in and play happy families.

For the past few weeks she had forgotten about me. She never called to see if I was okay when I didn't show up to lunch for two days in a row. She was always busy with her new friend Natalie- I still hadn't figured her out yet but there was definitely something going on there- and then there was last night, seeing her after my stupid anger management class, with that boy.

We were best friends. Okay? Since we first met we were best friends. Alexa had learnt to put up with me and my rants. She was the only one that actually accepted me for who I was and didn't expect anything from me but to be who I was and who I wanted to be. She was always the one that encouraged me when I was too weak to face anyone else. She didn't even realise how much she helped me.

So now, why was she keeping secrets from me? I know it was her I saw yesterday and now she's seeing someone without even telling me. I bet she had told Natalie. I wouldn't even be surprised if she set them up together. Either way, I was being pushed out of her life. And I didn't like it.

Then there was me, hoping that after today, everything would go back to normal. I kept telling myself that there was no way Alexa would forget.

In our friendship group, we had this thing where we celebrated eachothers' half birthdays. Call it weird, stupid, whatever, it was our tradition and our thing. It was something that defined our friendship.

So, today was mine.

Was Alexa there to celebrate at mine with the rest of us? Well, what do you think? No.

So then when I come to her place, after calling her about twenty times, and her not being there, and then waiting for an hour and a half for her to come back, and then her sauntering into her house and looking at me as if I had no right to be there and then saying she was 'out with a friend' instead of celebrating with me and-

It was just all to much and I just lost it.

The shock on Alexa's face as this was all just bouncing around in my head was apparent and then my head started buzzing and I started to feel dizzy.

*Alexa Shiffer*

I had no words.

I hadn't seen Adriana cry in years, and when she had, it had never been like this.

As she was crying, the times she looked at me, I couldn't bear it. She looked so pained, fragile and broken- nothing like I knew her as. She was always the strong one that comforted me- not the other way round.

She looked at me as if it was all my fault but I couldn't think of anything I had done. I hadn't seen her for a few weeks but that was because she was never there, or I was always busy.

Wait. It couldn't be that. Could it?

I couldn't deal with it any longer.

"Adriana," I tried, touching her arm to try and calm her down. She shrugged me off. I tried again, this time not letting go.

I managed to distinguish a wobbly "what" cushioned in between heavy sobs as she tried even harder to shrug me off.

"Talk to me Adriana, calm down, tell me what's wrong."

"Shut up."

I realised I was talking to her kind of like a dog so I changed my tactics. It's Adriana we're talking about here.

"Okay. Tell me what's wrong or I'm kicking you out of my house." That worked.

She sighed heavily in defeat and looked up, mascara running down her cheeks.

"It's you! You don't even realise it!"

"Wha-"

"Didn't you remember what was happening today? We've been planning this for the past few weeks. Talking about the past few weeks, where have you been? Oh of course- hanging out with your new buddy Natalie.

And what about yesterday? I saw you after coming out of my class, you were with a boy and dressed like a tart. Didn't you want to tell me about it? Since we met, we've told eachother everything and now suddenly you're always away and even today you were 'out with a friend'. I've tried calling you a million times but you never picked up!

Where have you been recently so that you havn't had enough time for me?"

I bit my tongue. What could I say to that? I wanted to cry but then there'd be no one there to comfort me and then no one there to comfort Adriana.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything was all my fault. It was Adriana's half birthday today and I had forgot. It felt like a knife was being at stabbed into me and I couldn't even explain the guilt I was feeling.

And I was going to tell her about Lucas and the so called 'date', but I just never got round to it. It was worse that she had seen us without me saying anything, now of course she was going to think that I was hiding it from her.

It was all so clear now. I had basically pushed Adriana out of my life recently. I hadn't spoken to her for the longest time since we had met and now I was always making excuses and had never even realised it.

But I did now and I realised how empty I had been without Adriana.

I was playing back what she had just said, in my head.

"Wait, what classes?" She went silent and looked at the ground. So she had been hiding something from me as well.

"Is that all you can say after what I just said?" Immediately I felt bad.

"No, I'm sorry Adriana. I never realised but I've been ignoring you recently. And I feel so incredibly bad about missing your half birthday that I can't even explain and certainly won't ever forgive myself for doing that. I know that you'd never forget mine.

And about last night, I was going to tell you, I promise, it's just that I was so confused about it that I didn't really know what to say to anyone. But tomorrow, I'll introduce him to you! You can meet him- but please- don't scare him away! He's a shy one."

Adriana smiled and laughed a little then, which instantly made me feel a lot better.

"I understand. And I guess, if you want new friends that's okay, I mean you must get bored of just me-"

I cut her off by giving her the biggest hug I had ever given anyone in my life- and I'm not a hugger. In return I got one just as big.

After a while, after we had both calmed down I head a snuffle. Adriana pulled away an looked to the ground.

"About those classes, I should have told you- I guess we're even.. See, my mum's signed me up for anger management classes and I was so embarrassed and didn't want anybody to know so.. Sorry."

I gave her a smile to show her everything was forgiven before running upstairs and grabbing a small parcel that had been hiding in my draw for a month.

"Sorry about today, but hopefully this will make up for it." I handed her the present. I saw her eyes light up as she opened it.

"Thank you so much Alexa!! This is why you're my best friend." Last month we went shopping and she saw a really nice pair of 'Adriana' earrings but she had already spent all of her money so I made sure to sneak back in and not let her go back in that shop until I gave her them or she'd just buy them.

I think I was successful, and I hoped I had made it up to her.

~*~

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