By Your Will, Lord. (ON HOLD DUE TO EDITING)

Chapter 6

Song Of The Chapter: Letting Go By Steffany Gretzinger

This song has helped me through the toughest times in my life. When all I had was Jesus, and I realized that He was enough for me. It helped me understand that.. no matter what situation you're in, He can help you through it. As long as you let Him. Fall in to Him.

"Why do you assume I'm a feminist?" I ask Matt as I set my coffee cup down on the brown table.

He grins as he bites into his brownie and I shake my head at him and his mouth covered in chocolate. "You really seem to be enjoying that brownie."

We have been sitting in the coffee shop for at least an hour now, talking about God and Matt asking questions to determine what type of youth group leader I'd be. So far it's between the Bible study sessions with the younger kids, or the Youth Evangelism Program that takes place every six months to go preach the word of God. A bunch of Churches near by all meet up and do activities together on the beach during the full week of going to spread the word of God to all the people in LA, Either online or in person, anything to get the word out there. It's a huge organized event that has become the norm for the past 5 years here in the community, according the chocolate covered Matt sitting in front of me.

He laughs at my comment and wipes his mouth with the napkin on his plate. He clasps his hands together on top of the table and leans forward, "Well I just thought you were one of those girls that gets all defensive over paying for yourself and not letting a guy do it for you. Which I don't get, to be honest."

"Well," I take a nut off my untouched brownie and eat it slowly, careful not to meet his gaze because any time I'd say this to someone, they'd look at me like I was crazy. "I don't like it when people pay for me or buy me things."

I glance at him through my lashes and I can feel the blush already rising on my cheeks as he gives me the same look as everyone else has before him.

"What?" He laughs. "That's insane! I love getting things for free."

"I do too!" I start but shrink back into my seat as his smiles widens. "I just feel awkward when people pay for me."

"So what about gifts, presents, food?" He motions towards my brownie. "Is that why-"

"No," I pick it up and bite in to it. "That is not why I haven't eaten it yet."

He crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head at me with an amused smile on his lips, encouraging me to continue to try and explain myself.

"I mean, it's fine when it comes to gifts. But when I'm out with someone and they pay for me, I get all awkward."

"That's pretty interesting." He tries to hide his smile behind his mug as he takes small sips from his coffee.

He obviously noticed my discomfort and is trying his best to either not laugh or make a joke to further my embarrassment and I'm kind of relieved that the teasing I assumed would follow; hasn't.

I smile and finish off the brownie in my hands. "Thanks."

"So does this mean I shouldn't get you coffee every Saturday morning, before our meetings in church? I'm usually the one that gets them but I mean, if you want to be the coffee girl, go right ahead." I quickly pull my half empty cup away from my mouth.

"Wait, what?" I grin. "Did you just subtly tell me I'm officially a youth group leader?"

"No, I just subtly told you that you're our coffee girl." His face is serious and I frown as I search his blue eyes to see if he's kidding.