Chapter 34
I spend my Thanksgiving with Peter, Miles, and their mom's family. Spending the whole day with my mom would be too much. After all, she and Hal have not decided whether they are ending things or not. It pisses me off, honestly.
Of course I want my mom to be happy. After my dad passed away, she was never truly the same. She always blamed herself, thinking she could've done more to save him. I can't imagine living with that kind of guilt for almost twenty years.
And to be completely honest, I would've felt the guilt from Andrew's death for my entire life if not for Peter. He's my saviour in all of this, the one who helped me escape from the horrid guilt.
It haunts me to think that Hal could be her Peter.
Miles said it's love that saved me. He said one person doesn't have the ability to change a life; it's the moments and feelings where a person is loved. Loved by family, friends, or a girlfriend or boyfriend, a spouse. He said the best thing we can do for my mother is to love her, to let her know she's loved.
I'm definitely not the perfect daughter, nor is Scarlett. My mom has gone through a lot with the two of us, our partying and all. Many nights we'd go without even telling her 'thank you' or 'I love you.'
Thinking about all of this, I feel selfish. I feel like my being with Peter is going to ruin any chance of my mom's own happiness. Hal makes her feel loved, something no one has been able to do for her in years. As much as I hate the idea, he could be the one for her.
On the other hand, Peter is the one for me. We're much younger and might not truly know what love is, but everyone says that when you're in love you'll know. I know I'm in love. I know he's the man I want to marry and have a family with. I see our future and I want that future.
Pulling for both couples, Miles also argued the point that Hal isn't the legal guardian of Peter. So, really, Peter and I won't be step-siblings. Even so, it wouldn't feel right. If Hal and my mom were to have a child, we would both be brother and sister to it.
After our four hour six a.m. breakfast chat, their family arrives. I'm a little apprehensive about meeting the family. Miles and- if one would consider him as family- Hal are the only two members of Peter's family I have met.
His mom has two brothers, Marvin and Lance. Marvin is married to Jan. Lance is married to Stella. Marvin and Jan have a six-year-old daughter named Casey. Lance and Stella have a son the same age as Miles named Devin, a fifteen-year-old son named Jace, and a thirteen-year-old daughter named Miranda.
I introduce myself individually to each person, receiving hugs from the moms and Jace.
There isn't much resemblance between the families and Peter and Miles. I think they got their looks from Hal and their father's side of the family. Peter and Miles have pale skin with bright eyes. Their cousins have natural tans with dark brown, almost black, eyes.
Peter isn't very close with either sides of his family. The two boys isolated themselves for years after their mom's passing away and their dad's arrest. Their mom's family tried to reach out year after year, but the boys couldn't deal with the constant reminder of the mere replicas. Their dad's parents didn't even try to contact them. As for Hal, they didn't even know of his existance.
It wasn't until Peter's sophomore year that Miles reached out. He was overwhelmed and needed help in raising a teenage boy. Both families live in Texas, so distance is their biggest barrier. The families could only make minimal trips to visit. And with all of the lost time from the years before, they just weren't able to be super close.
"Peter, Grace, if you don't mind sitting at the kids table this year," Miles says as we make our plates for lunch/dinner, of which Miles requests we call linner.
