BoJack Horseman. The Fanfiction

Part 1

[BoJack Horseman themesong starts playing]

[Doorbell rings]

BoJack: TODD!!!!!! TODD!!!!!

Todd: What?

BoJack: Make yourself useful for once and get the door.

Todd: awww... okay.

[Todd walks over and opens the door. A horse is standing there quite excited.]

[Todd rubs his eyes.]

Todd: Err.....who are you, are you here about the icecream truck? Because that was a totally different Todd Chavez, not me...

Horse: Oh sorry, i must have the wrong adress, i am looking for BoJack Horseman, i was sure i had the right address, very well....

Todd: No don't go, this is his house, why are you looking for him?

Horse: I should introduce myself. I am Brent Ponyson. I am BoJacks cousin!

Todd: He never told me he had a cousin....he never really tell me anything, like that time he said whe were on our way to the fair and instead he took me to this date he had, i had to watch the car for hours because it was in a bad neighbourhood.

Brent: err...yeah, okay.  Is he home...?

Todd: Oh yeah, sure. Come right in! I go get him.

[Meanwhile in BoJacks bedroom.]

BoJack: Stupid Todd and whatever waking me up, it's so early i can hear birds tweeting.

[He pulls of the curtains and yells.]

BoJack: Get of my damn window you bloodsuckers!

Paparazzi 1: BOJACK. Get me something i can use on twitter.

Paparazzi 2: Will the Secretariat suck? Where were you for the last months? What is up with the boat??

[BoJack pulls the curtains back together.]

BoJack: GO TO HELL! Can never get rid of them!

[BoJack looks at the time on his phone.]

BoJack: 10 o clock? Urgh!!! May as well get out and se what the leech is up to.

[BoJack walks out into the livingroom and se Todd speaking to Brent.]

Todd:....and then i said: I dont need you, i have my own unicorn!

Brent: Stop it, hahaha. I can't breathe.

BoJack: For the last time Todd, stop inviting Jehovas Witnesses!

Todd: He's not one of them, it's your cousin.

Brent: Hi BoJack. Been to long! How you been?

BoJack: Yea...i don't remember any cousin.....

Brent: Whaaat? Come on BoJack. It's me!!! Brent Ponyson from upstate!!!

BoJack: Oh yeah, maybe i choose not to remember because you're a pain in my ass.

Brent: Don't be like that! It's been what? 15 years?

BoJack: errr...i don't know. I actually thought you died in a planecrash or something...or maybe it was just a dream.

Todd: OMG BoJack. Your cousin is so funny, we where talking abou....

BoJack: Shut up Todd! He is awful. Probably here to leech of my famous ass like a....some kind of ....i don't know, famous ass leecher.

Brent: Come on, don't be like that.

BoJack: Okay...[sighs] Welcome cousin. Why are you here?

Brent: I am here because i left my old life behind me, and starting my new life in showbizz!!!

BoJack: You? In showbizz? They will eat you alive! Even Mr Peanutbutter have more acting skills than you.

Brent: Omg omg omg, you know mister Peanutbutter??? The star from "Hollywoo stars and celibrity's. What do they know? Do they know things? Let's find out"?

BoJack: Yes. I know him. And he is slightly more anoying than you. And anyhow. Why work in showbizz?

Brent: It's always been my dream since i had a guest role in "Horsin around".

BoJack: I don't remember that!

Brent: Err.. season 4 episode 13??? I was the bankrobber!! You got me the role remember.

BoJack: Oh, we did so much cocaine back then.

Brent: Anyhow. I continued with my boring life and recently said: Stop! No more. I am going to Hollywoo to be a star!

BoJack: Yeah, just like that? You really think you got what it takes?

Brent: Sure. I did that toothpaste comercial a few years back. Just hand me over to one of your top agents and they can start filming next week.

BoJack: Oh boy [takes a zip from a whiskey bottle] So innocent!

Todd: Wow, maybe, just maybe you can call Princess Carolyn. What if she can get him a job?

BoJack: Todd. First things first: She is MY agent. And the second thing is: She is probably superbusy, she being a free agent and all.

[Phone rings with broken ringtone]

BoJack: Bojack, you have reached Bojack Horseman.

Princess: It's your favourite agent in the whole world!

BoJack: What do you want? I'm kinda busy with.....[looks at Brent]...whatever, what do you want. Take your time.

Princess: I was thinking, i cant possibly survive out here with you being my only client just at this moment. I need to spread my wings and expand as the company grows.

BoJack: I didn't get any of that, i'm kind of hungover.

Princess: Your whole life is a "kind of hungover" dumbass. Simple: I am looking for people to represent. If any name pops up in that fat skull of yours, give me a call. Anyone!

BoJack: Err...sure. I keep an eye out!

Princess: You are the best. See you soon BoJack!

Bojack: Yeah. See you!

[Hangs up]

Todd: What if....we...could....get some icecream and get drunk in the pool watching old reruns of "Horsin' around"

BoJack: I'd love to do that but it's like 10.30 now, to early even for me, to early to do anything.

Brent: So BoJack. Will you help me get started here in big ol' Hollywoo or what?

Bojack: [Sighs] I see what i can do...i guess.

Brent: SUPER! And one more thing, i am short on cash and have no place to sleep. Can i stay here?

BoJack: [Sighs in a exaggerated way] Okay, fine. You can live in the boat!

Brent: You have a boat?

[BoJack walks him over to the swimming pool and shows him the "Escape From L.A." yatch that is permantly parked in his pool.]

Brent: Must ask, why do you have a boat in your pool?

BoJack: I don't know. I don't remember. Why do people have any stuff anywhere? I think i rescued Todd from some strange hippies or something. Whatever. You can use it. Make yourself at home. I need a shower.

[Brent climbs up the boat with his bag and BoJack went back in for a shower. 1 hour pass]

[BoJack walks into the livingroom and Brent is sitting next to Todd.]

BoJack: Are you still here?

Brent: You said i could stay here.

BoJack: Errrr..... oh yeah. Anyway, i have an idea, get in the car! I am taking you to see someone.

Brent: I am so excited. Who is it?

BoJack: You'll see...