[BoJack Horseman themesong starts playing]
[Doorbell rings]
BoJack: TODD!!!!!! TODD!!!!!
Todd: What?
BoJack: Make yourself useful for once and get the door.
Todd: awww... okay.
[Todd walks over and opens the door. A horse is standing there quite excited.]
[Todd rubs his eyes.]
Todd: Err.....who are you, are you here about the icecream truck? Because that was a totally different Todd Chavez, not me...
Horse: Oh sorry, i must have the wrong adress, i am looking for BoJack Horseman, i was sure i had the right address, very well....
Todd: No don't go, this is his house, why are you looking for him?
Horse: I should introduce myself. I am Brent Ponyson. I am BoJacks cousin!
Todd: He never told me he had a cousin....he never really tell me anything, like that time he said whe were on our way to the fair and instead he took me to this date he had, i had to watch the car for hours because it was in a bad neighbourhood.
Brent: err...yeah, okay. Is he home...?
Todd: Oh yeah, sure. Come right in! I go get him.
[Meanwhile in BoJacks bedroom.]
BoJack: Stupid Todd and whatever waking me up, it's so early i can hear birds tweeting.
[He pulls of the curtains and yells.]
BoJack: Get of my damn window you bloodsuckers!
Paparazzi 1: BOJACK. Get me something i can use on twitter.
Paparazzi 2: Will the Secretariat suck? Where were you for the last months? What is up with the boat??
[BoJack pulls the curtains back together.]
BoJack: GO TO HELL! Can never get rid of them!
[BoJack looks at the time on his phone.]
BoJack: 10 o clock? Urgh!!! May as well get out and se what the leech is up to.
[BoJack walks out into the livingroom and se Todd speaking to Brent.]
Todd:....and then i said: I dont need you, i have my own unicorn!
Brent: Stop it, hahaha. I can't breathe.
BoJack: For the last time Todd, stop inviting Jehovas Witnesses!
Todd: He's not one of them, it's your cousin.
Brent: Hi BoJack. Been to long! How you been?
BoJack: Yea...i don't remember any cousin.....
Brent: Whaaat? Come on BoJack. It's me!!! Brent Ponyson from upstate!!!
BoJack: Oh yeah, maybe i choose not to remember because you're a pain in my ass.
Brent: Don't be like that! It's been what? 15 years?
BoJack: errr...i don't know. I actually thought you died in a planecrash or something...or maybe it was just a dream.
Todd: OMG BoJack. Your cousin is so funny, we where talking abou....
BoJack: Shut up Todd! He is awful. Probably here to leech of my famous ass like a....some kind of ....i don't know, famous ass leecher.
Brent: Come on, don't be like that.
BoJack: Okay...[sighs] Welcome cousin. Why are you here?
Brent: I am here because i left my old life behind me, and starting my new life in showbizz!!!
BoJack: You? In showbizz? They will eat you alive! Even Mr Peanutbutter have more acting skills than you.
Brent: Omg omg omg, you know mister Peanutbutter??? The star from "Hollywoo stars and celibrity's. What do they know? Do they know things? Let's find out"?
BoJack: Yes. I know him. And he is slightly more anoying than you. And anyhow. Why work in showbizz?
Brent: It's always been my dream since i had a guest role in "Horsin around".
BoJack: I don't remember that!
Brent: Err.. season 4 episode 13??? I was the bankrobber!! You got me the role remember.
BoJack: Oh, we did so much cocaine back then.
Brent: Anyhow. I continued with my boring life and recently said: Stop! No more. I am going to Hollywoo to be a star!
BoJack: Yeah, just like that? You really think you got what it takes?
Brent: Sure. I did that toothpaste comercial a few years back. Just hand me over to one of your top agents and they can start filming next week.
BoJack: Oh boy [takes a zip from a whiskey bottle] So innocent!
Todd: Wow, maybe, just maybe you can call Princess Carolyn. What if she can get him a job?
BoJack: Todd. First things first: She is MY agent. And the second thing is: She is probably superbusy, she being a free agent and all.
[Phone rings with broken ringtone]
BoJack: Bojack, you have reached Bojack Horseman.
Princess: It's your favourite agent in the whole world!
BoJack: What do you want? I'm kinda busy with.....[looks at Brent]...whatever, what do you want. Take your time.
Princess: I was thinking, i cant possibly survive out here with you being my only client just at this moment. I need to spread my wings and expand as the company grows.
BoJack: I didn't get any of that, i'm kind of hungover.
Princess: Your whole life is a "kind of hungover" dumbass. Simple: I am looking for people to represent. If any name pops up in that fat skull of yours, give me a call. Anyone!
BoJack: Err...sure. I keep an eye out!
Princess: You are the best. See you soon BoJack!
Bojack: Yeah. See you!
[Hangs up]
Todd: What if....we...could....get some icecream and get drunk in the pool watching old reruns of "Horsin' around"
BoJack: I'd love to do that but it's like 10.30 now, to early even for me, to early to do anything.
Brent: So BoJack. Will you help me get started here in big ol' Hollywoo or what?
Bojack: [Sighs] I see what i can do...i guess.
Brent: SUPER! And one more thing, i am short on cash and have no place to sleep. Can i stay here?
BoJack: [Sighs in a exaggerated way] Okay, fine. You can live in the boat!
Brent: You have a boat?
[BoJack walks him over to the swimming pool and shows him the "Escape From L.A." yatch that is permantly parked in his pool.]
Brent: Must ask, why do you have a boat in your pool?
BoJack: I don't know. I don't remember. Why do people have any stuff anywhere? I think i rescued Todd from some strange hippies or something. Whatever. You can use it. Make yourself at home. I need a shower.
[Brent climbs up the boat with his bag and BoJack went back in for a shower. 1 hour pass]
[BoJack walks into the livingroom and Brent is sitting next to Todd.]
BoJack: Are you still here?
Brent: You said i could stay here.
BoJack: Errrr..... oh yeah. Anyway, i have an idea, get in the car! I am taking you to see someone.
Brent: I am so excited. Who is it?
BoJack: You'll see...
YOU ARE READING
BoJack Horseman. The Fanfiction
FanfictionThis story takes place after the end of Season 2 of BoJack Horseman the Netflix series. To avoid any spoilers i recommend watching season 1 and 2 before reading this. The cover art is not mine. Found it and decided to use it. Background: Shortly af...