Cheated (Mr. Control Freak)

XXXVIII. COMPLETELY NUMB

ALEC'S POV

"Damn what's her problem? I'm surprised she didn't try to beat you to death with the books you were putting up." Eva said walking in.

I was still in shock about what happened, the only one who knew was Eva.

"You told her?" I asked feeling my anger grow towards her.

She scoffed, "Please, she came in here like Mike Tyson, I didn't do shìt but open the door. I didn't even say anything to that girl and she marched in here like she ran shit. You know she pushed me and called me a bitch? There are few times in my life where I have been so offended, she's lucky I didn't grab her by her hair and drag her back to Mexico. I don't know why she left you anyways, she knows she needs to marry you to get her papers. I should call the police on her rude asş and have her deported. You know--"

"Eva!" I cut her off from her increasingly annoying ramblings.

"What? That whøre deserves it. Don't even like feel bad because of her, she was totally sleeping with Max." She added in.

I didn't want to let that statement affect me, since she was probably saying it out of anger, but it did.

"Why are you still here? Get out." I dismissed her, she had only dropped by to get her jacket that she left the last time she was here.

"You're lucky I like you. Call me when you're out of your feelings, or not, I'd like to witness a emotional Alec for once." She said and threw me a sultry smile.

I haven't been with Eva since Valentina and I became official and I don't miss being with her at all. She was always super chatty and I just couldn't handle that at times.

After I let it sink in for a few moments that Valentina, the love of my life, had left me, probably for good, I realized that I didn't feel anything. I felt completely numb and I didn't understand why. Despair and extreme guilt was more along the lines of what I was expecting.

The only explanation that I could come up with was that I was still in shock. It didn't feel real, this was a some bad dream and I'd wake up with Valentina sleeping peacefully besides me. Everything felt hazy and I couldn't think straight. By now, I was expecting to be a complete and utter mess like I was the last time she left me. Maybe because with the previous encounter, I saw it coming; I felt like I was going to be discovered but I was too caught up to care.

This time however, I was completely blindsided. I was planning on never revealing the fact that there were other people that I had been with; I felt equally as bad for each and every one but at the same time there was that rush of adrenaline that came along with it. It was absolutely the most vile act that I could have possibly done but I wanted to change and I truly felt disgusting for it. If she found out about the other people then I knew she'd most think what she's thinking now, that I was just using her as a front or a cover. That hurt me because although there were other people, my heart was held by only her.

There was no excuse that I could come up with that would justify my actions so covering it up was my only option. In my mind, lying to the woman whom I love was better than hurting her even more. I lied to protect her feelings and mine too.

I chose to stop thinking and let myself revel in the nothingness that I was currently feeling; for the first time in a while, there wasn't all that weight on my chest from the secrets I was keeping and the guilt that came along with it. Finally, I was free of all the burdens I was carrying, it created a huge mess but it's nothing that I can't clean up.

I know it won't be easy, but I have every intention to get her back.

***

"Only a few weeks left." I told my mother, rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb.

She smiled brightly at me and nodded, "19 days, 3 hours, and 31 minutes. I'll be back in time for your 29th birthday and I finally get to meet this girl you've been telling me so much about."

Maybe not.

"Uhh I don't know, we're not really talking right now."

Her eyebrows furrowed momentarily before a look of realization washed over her face, "She found out didn't she?"

My mother has known about my sexual orientation for a very long time and she's been nothing but supportive from the start. What she's not going to be supportive about is my infidelity; I was still debating whether or not I should tell her.

"Yeah, she also found out that she wasn't the only one I've been sleeping with." I admitted. I felt like even more of an asshole when I said it aloud.

My mom looked at me with pure disappointment in her eyes, this was the first time I've seen her look at me in such a way and it didn't feel good.

"You cheated on her? Alec, I taught you better than that. The whole reason I'm in prison stems from cheating. I'm really disappointed in you." She said, followed by a heavy sigh. She always knew how to make me feel worse than I already was.

"Yeah I know. I'm fixing things though, well at least I'm trying."

There was no way in hell I was letting her go. She's my forever.

"Trying?" She scoffed, "Trust is like a glass cup. Once you break it, you can try to put it back together but it'll never be the same, you'll always be missing pieces no matter how hard you look. You may be able to get her back but things will never be the same."

I don't know why I was expecting more reassuring word from her. I really fúcked up here.

I sighed not wanting to talk about Val anymore.

"Anyways we have to get you a house for when you get out of here." I said changing the subject.

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Heyyy thanks for making it this far! Sorry for the short chapter and long wait. I had no idea what to write. Next chapter should be comimg soon though.

What do you want to see next?

What will Alec do to get Val back?

What will happen when his mother gets out of prison?

Please vote and comment! I don't even know what to say here, I suck.

-Jay