Cold Ashes

Chapter 15 - Taking the Final Breath

Ryan watched the sky that night. The last carpet of stars that he would ever see - and compared to Leah's view, it was a disappointment to him. He felt as if there were things that he went through over the last few days that made him finally come to this. The final battle with the ending that was always going to happen. His death.

He felt... Empty.

He would never have the chance to know Leah better. To actually be able to stay with her for a while longer. To understand her. It was not meant to be - that was what was. It wasn't ever supposed to happen between them. Nothing was. Ryan was to die, and she was to live; grow old, have kids of her own.

To continue where he left off.

And he felt the sickly sting of jealously rock him to his core. But it didn't make him bitter of her, he could never, ever be that cruel. He liked her. But if there was one thing that he wanted, out of each thing of this world, it was to stay with her. To be with Leah and Heather and all the kids. Even if he needed to fight for each day, at least he'd have the chance live them and not just survive for the sake of survival.

It was not to be.

Ryan felt little change in his condition. The wound he had still stung, the venom making his chest ache - but that, by now, was just something that occurred at the back of his mind. It never really had stopped.

The sun had disappeared quickly after Ryan had given Leah his father's dog-tag, and she had it on. It felt strange to not have the metal against his collar bone, it was stranger to think that she had it now. That she had father's legacy - his family's legacy - instead of him.

Their world was darker that night, it felt more so through their eyes, because somewhere in the back of their minds; they could already tell this would be their last night together. His condition wasn't getting any better, and it wasn't really safe for Leah, despite how much she insisted to herself and to him that it would be fine.

They ate from Ryan's stock; a cold tin of an old meat stew and a chocolate bar each. She didn't remember the last time she had one and tasting the sweet cocoa in her mouth was heavenly. Having even some stew seemed like a heavy luxury to Leah.

The meat she tasted was something that she savoured and lingered, she chewed each mouthful for a minute before swallowing and letting the lean substance down her throat. Leah was still surprised at how well he was living in comparison to her own decrepit life in the city.

Even when she was with Boss, nothing seemed quite as good as this. And it seemed even more special that she was sharing it with a friend.

"You need to go back tomorrow, Leah."

She didn't answer because she didn't want to talk about the obvious anymore.

"If I last the night it won't take much longer before I'm gone."

"You wanna get rid of me so badly?"

"I didn't-" he noticed the sarcasm in her voice, and chuckled a little. "Well you are annoying."

"Really? Well if you want I'll go now-"

"No." He reached and grabbed her hand. It was a lot softer than it appeared to be, he expected to be slapped after being so forward again.

She smiled and raised an eyebrow at the contact jokingly. "I knew you didn't really want me to go."

"Well it's been... Quiet, for a long time."

She took another mouthful of the chocolate bar, suddenly much gentler in her expression. "Tell me about them."

He didn't answer immediately. It took a few seconds of silent consideration where he wondered whether he could really trust her out of some stupid old instinct. But looking at her; eating his food and talking to him as if he were still human and not about to change into a monstrous zombie, he realised that he already did. And he didn't really mind that at all.