Cold Ashes

Chapter 10 - Empty

Hours later he had trudged back to the city.

There was something in his heart that wished that Leah was there, beside him. Talking to him. Just talking, was that so bad? No. No it couldn't be, he wasn't... He didn't even like her, she always wanted to fight him and seemed to do nothing but tease him. So why did he like her, then? It didn't make any sense. Nothing made sense anymore.

He didn't know how to talk to girls. The only girl he'd ever known was his mum. So all his knowledge of them was based on her. Or, at least, what was left of her.

The road back was the same as the one there, maybe a little longer and much more boring without Leah. But it gave Ryan time to think. Think about everything that he had seen and heard, the days he had spent with her.

So much time that was treated like nothing to her. He didn't know how to think or feel anymore. His entire world had completely changed in less than a week; how was that even possible?

He remembered those scars on her back, her screams as he saved her life. The sickening feeling when... when he thought that she was gone.  How she looked when he put offered the necklace to her, his imagination and reality being so far apart.

That feeling - that brief second - reminded him of Alan. He couldn't save him. He could only take the pain away from him.

The way she ran off, away from him. He swore to himself, for what felt like the millionth time. He had only ever felt so protective over Alan. He barely knew Leah, why was he acting like this?

Of course the answers to his questions were obvious. However, he was ignorant. Stupid, even, to some of these simple concepts. Things that were barely mentioned among the other lessons of building fires, finding water and where to look for some food.

Things that his mother tried and failed to teach him when under the stress of stitching up what was left of her family. Of her home.

Ryan took longer than expected to find the tumbled down shack, by the time he saw the boarded windows and familiar door that barely held on by its hinges it was already nightfall. He still didn't want to go in.

But he did anyway, because he knew that he needed to apologise to Leah and make her understand that it was a mistake. A stupid, dumb mistake that she misinterpreted as being... like that. Yeah. It was absolutely Leah's fault this was happening, not Ryan's. He didn't offend her, she offended herself.

He went through what he would say in his head a few times, then he entered.

"'Ello, stranger."

"Heather." Ryan wasn't expecting that. But it wasn't suprising that there wasn't any kids around. "Gonna kick me out, then?"

"No." The grey dragon told him. "No I think you need to stay."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

Ryan approached her and sat down opposite. After sharing a few meals with her, he saw what Leah meant. That although Heather was a bit of a bitch - to him especially - she could melt down by just looking at one of the kid's faces there.

She was also the only person most adamant on making sure that he didn't stay another night. And he had already been there for three. "Why the change of heart?"

"Oh no, Ryan." She leaned towards him. "I think it's about her change of heart."

He felt something stir within. It was probably his empty stomach. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Leah didn't need to tell me, so don't blame her. I've been around the city enough to see what it looks like."

"... I still don't get what you're talking about."