Immaculate Misconception [r.h] ✓

Twenty-Two

We ended up staying in tonight, and ordered Chinese take out from Panda Express. We'd drove around town for about an hour, trying to find a good place to eat. But at every place we went I'd say "let's go somewhere else", the smell from the outside of the restaurant making me feel icky and I knew that was the baby saying they didn't want it. Ricky never complained, he was just happy that I'd suddenly craved sweet and sour chicken with rice. So we stood in line at Panda Express, moving slowly towards the front to order our food.

I'd been jittery all night, knowing that once we got home I'd have to tell Ricky. I wasn't sure if I rather do that in our house with privacy and where anything could happen, or in a public place where we had to keep our reactions tamed. I think Ricky started to notice my fidgeting, for I wasn't subtle about it.

I'd tap my foot as if I were impatient, cross then uncross my arms, and bite at my fingernails. Sometimes I'd catch him watching me, but he looked away and I kept up with my acts of nervousness. I felt like throwing up by now, but that would cause a big commotion in public which is exactly what I hadn't wanted. We were only half way to the front, and I sighed wanting this night to get a move on. I was taken from my thoughts and brought back to reality when Ricky laced his fingers with mine. I looked at my fiancé, worry written on his features.

Ricky's eyebrows were furrowed, lips pursed in confusion, as he stared back at me. I could tell he wanted to ask what was wrong, I just knew it.

"Babe, what's bugging you tonight?"

And there it was.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to play it off. I made up my mind, I was going to wait until we got home even if it killed me slowly.

"You've been acting... off since Chris drove you to mine. Something's bugging you, I know it is." Ricky said.

"N-Nothing's wrong." I stuttered. Fuck.

"Now I know for sure something is. Sara I know you better than anyone- you stutter when you're lying or pause for a long time to conjure up something."

"I promise Simba, nothing is wrong."

My voice cracked when I spoke, and I could see Ricky getting a little upset with me that I wouldn't tell him anything. I knew for sure he was really upset when he let go of my hand and left the line, storming out of the place and walking towards the car he'd parked across the lot. I huffed, and followed him. I stopped on the sidewalk, seeing him pacing the span of three parking spaces. He'd taken off his beloved black beanie, and was running his hand through his hair and over his face repeatedly, mumbling to himself.

I just stood there and watched, eyes following his dark clothed body back and forth. Eventually he put his hat back on, and looked up to see me standing there. He scoffed and shook his head, looking both ways before crossing over to where his car was parked.

"Where are you going?" I called out.

"Home."

"You can't just leave me here!"

"Why not?! You're leaving me hanging on the edge anyways!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Something is wrong, Sara! And you obviously don't trust me enough to tell me what the hell that is! How can we possibly work out if you don't trust me?" he cried.

"So now you think I don't trust you? Ricky that is the most ridiculous thing you've ever said to me!"

"Well you trusted Chris before you trusted me! After your first accident? I was hurt that you remembered his name before mine Sara! I wanted you to come home with me, not go back home with him, because that wasn't your home!"

"I didn't know any of you Ricky! I couldn't remember Chris at all, somebody said his name while I was waking up and I remembered that!"

"Bullshit!"

"Fine, you want to know why I kept saying nothing was wrong? Because I wanted to wait until we got home to talk about it like civilized people! I trust you more than anybody on this planet Richard."

I saw his jaw clench at the mention of his full name but I didn't really care. I was fuming now, and yet there were tears running down my cheeks. I saw his fists clench and unclench by his sides, as he stood next to the car. I knew the gears were working in that brain of his, and he was thinking about whether or not he should get in the car and drive or stay here and fight.

Wow, this was the first fight we've had since the first accident. And it was a lot like the ones we'd used to have. They'd gotten so bad, we went to couple's counseling because we didn't understand why we constantly fought. That idiot therapist simply thought it was just a rough patch in our relationship, due to Ricky being gone all the time on tour but I refused to believe that. I never cared if he was on tour, that was his job and I was beyond proud of him for living his dreams. That would never be the problem between us. We went to a different therapist, and what they said made so much more sense.

Our stubborn and hard-headed personalities clashed, making us agree but also disagree on a lot of things. It caused us to fight everyday of our lives, to the point we'd almost broken up; twice. And after seeing that therapist, we realized that we needed to chill the fuck out and work out things. So we did, knowing that we never wanted to split up over something so stupid as our personalities clashing in the wrong way. We were too much alike, so what? It in the end only made us more perfect for each other, more like soulmates. 

"Well we're already making a scene, so you wanna tell me what's going on?" Ricky asked.

I hesitated before blurting it out, unable to take the constant guilt and I just wanted this fight to be over and done with. I hated fighting with him, I always had because it made me think the worse. That worse being I'd lose him. And losing him wasn't apart of my plan, especially when I'd gotten him back three months ago. But I'd waited too long, as he got closer to the car, ready to climb in.

"I remember!" I exclaimed before he could get too far away.

"What?" he asked as he turned around to face me again.

"I remember," I said, breathing heavily.

He walked towards me, and looked serious. I swallowed the lump in my throat, not knowing what he was going to do but hoping it'd be something good. And it was definitely good, for as we stood there in the middle of night, stars shining bright above us, our lips collided.

I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his face closer to mine as our lips molded together like puzzle pieces finishing one big, almost unsolvable puzzle. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me as tightly to him as he could, but of course my bump was still somehow in the way. I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip, and I didn't care that we were out in public anymore. I opened my mouth, our tongues dancing together as we snogged outside a Panda Express. We probably looked a mess, kissing like we hadn't ever kissed each other. As we parted, our foreheads stayed touching and our breaths were heavy.

"Maybe we should stick to ordering pizza from home, yeah?" he asked me and I found myself laughing slightly.

"Yeah, maybe." I smiled.

- - - - -

Finally Sara told Ricky! That only took forever! ;)

Oh and yeah, there is your double update folks, teehee. 

- Gaby