Random Stuff :P

COURT AGAINNN

so we had more court on the bus today

I was the judge

I had three cases

-A girl drew on the cops face
-My cousin was robbed, and in the process, her husband, who my younger cousin (the judge last time) had declared to be Purple Guy, was killed. She was arrested because they think she was the killer
-The SAME GIRL threw up on a cop

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Case one: A girl drew on the cops face

Me: How do you plead?

Her: uh... UHHH

Me: guilty or not guilty?

Her: Guilty- I MEAN, NOT GUILTY!

Me: Why did you draw on the cop's face?

Her: Because he wanted to be pretty

Me: How do you know this?

Her: because his face was ugly

Me: *trying not to laugh* I hereby find the defendant... Not guilty! Yay!!! You're not going to jail!

*turns around*

*yells* OKAY WHO'S NEXT

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Case two: My cousin robbed and murdered her husband, the Purple Guy
(Note: her friend is her lawyer in this)

Me: Defendant, how do you plead?

Her: Not guilty

Me: So... Is it true you killed your husband?

Her: Um, I don't have a husband, therefore I cannot him, so no...

Me: Are you sure you didn't kill Purple Guy?

Her: I did not kill purple guy

Me: Did you rob your husband?

Her: No.

Me: *turns to her friend* <my cousin's name here>'s lawyer, do you have anything to say?

Her friend: SHE'S GUILTY!!!!

Her: DUDE YOUR MY LAWYER

Her friend: ...

Her: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DEFEND ME!

Her friend: OHHHHHH
WELL THEN SHE'S NOT GUILTY!

Me: *leans back* SOMETHING HAS JUST BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION.

PURPLE GUY DIED IN SPRINGTRAP, NOT BY MURDER. THEREFORE THE DEFENDANT IS NOT GUILTY!

*turns to my cousin*

I HEREBY FIND THE DEFENDANT NOT GUILTY

*gets tapped on shoulder*

*turns*

The girl from Case 1: You gotta take me to court.

Me: What's your case

Girl: I threw up on a cop

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Case three: A girl threw up on a cop

Me: *sigh* How do you plead....

Her: GUILTY I ADMIT I DID IT

Me: *talking quickly* I HEREBY FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY! YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL

Her: I'm violent *tries stabbing me with a pen*

Me: *backs away quickly*