Disequilibrium

Part 3: Junior Year - Scene 10

There's someone banging on the front door.

I squeeze my eyes and groan in my pillow, willing myself to go back to sleep even though it's impossible now. It's been too damn long since I've slept like that. Who the hell is ruining it now?

Bang, bang, bang.

They're not letting me have it.

I slip out of bed and walk over to the door before they can wake Dad. He's not much of a morning person. The last time someone tried knocking like this during early morning hours, he socked them right on the jaw. Besides, who the hell has business with us this early? I can't think of anyone other than...

The cops. I pause halfway, my hand resting on the doorknob. This shouldn't be a big deal. I know how dense these cops are; I've dealt with them before. I've got my alibi in check, my hours correct, and reasonable responses to any question they can come up with. I'm good. It's cool.

Breathe.

I open the door, expecting two men in uniform, but instead see Casper in shorts and a sweater. He looks pretty nice to be honest, except the look of pure shock and panic on his face. His skin is a little pale and he looks languid, like he'll blow away with the wind at any given moment.

"Cas?" The moment I say the name, he lets out a breath and tackles me, slamming my back against the wall by the doorway. I can't breathe right with the way he's holding me and my head is throbbing from the impact, but I can't do anything about it. His nails are digging into my back.

"Jesus." He whispers the name like a prayer before kissing me, though it's different from the others. These are less pleasing, reminding me of a dehydrated person with their first taste of water. Desperate. Hungry. Starved. He's working quicker than I can catch up, my mind reeling in euphoria and confusion and pain. A part of me would like to keep going, but then I hear Dad's loud snore from the bedroom and everything shuts off.

I pull away. His face falls.

"My dad," I try to explain, but I still can't breathe right. "He's here."

Casper's features turn from hurt to angry in a matter of seconds, and he moves away from me like I just told him I contracted something. "Are you serious? I don't care about your dad, Holden. I need you."

"But if he saw us—"

"Fucking hell, it isn't a crime!"

I press my lips together and shut up. He looks like he's about to cry. Casper digs his fingers in his hair and squats, his eyes red as hell even though his cheeks are dry. I step towards him, waiting for the backlash, but when he doesn't I take a spot next to him on the floor.

"Is there something wrong? I mean, you were excited for the first day and now you're here."

"Something bad happened." His voice cracks. "M-my mom and I left early to get breakfast since it's what we always do on first days. We took her street as a shortcut, but we couldn't even get through. There were cop cars and people everywhere. Yellow tape, reporters..." He shakes his head. "My mom got out to see if they needed help and when I followed her I saw—"

Casper finally sits on the floor and lets his legs explode in front of him, staring blankly at nothing. "She's gone, Holden. Anila. I saw her in a body bag."

I put an arm over his shoulders.

"It happened a few blocks away from me. At night. I was sleeping, and she was being stabbed."

I kiss his cheek.

"And I guess the worst part of it all was when I saw her, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I got so scared. My mind kept reminding me I let you go out there at the same time she was..." he pulls in a shaky breath. "I ran here. I couldn't get the image of you out somewhere in a park or something, cold and-and—"