Dahlia

43

Hyunjae was acting up again.

The car ride was so silent that Nara could've sworn she heard her own heartbeats thumping comfortably inside her chest. And she probably could hear her husband's that sounded different from hers. Hyunjae's sounded like a boiling soup.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she announced as she unbuckled the seat belt, Lee Hyunjae did not spare any glance at her. "Are we going to part way coldly?"

Her husband then sighed, his hand reached for hers and brought it to his lips to kiss it. But, still, he did not look at her.

"Take care. Let me know if anything happens," he reminded, cautiously stealing glances.

It made Nara cackle which did him nothing but to enrage. What was so funny anyway? He clearly, did not make any joke for her to laugh that way.

"Go now before I change my mind," he instructed, glaring right into her hazel eyes. Though it was now late evening and the sun was slowly going down, he still could see a glimpse of the colour which made him not want to let her go.

Nara then got out, stalling the time by holding the opened door while looking at him inside. Out of many days they dramatically parted way, only today she felt discouraged. The confidence in her had almost vanished, being replaced by only anxiousness.

Is this plan possible? Is this the right thing to do in the first place? What will happen next? All were filling in her little head that she assumed at any time from now, it would be painted on her face and Hyunjae might see them. And she clearly, couldn't let that happen. For, Hyunjae would be too worried about her.

She sighed.

Had only she never received the text message from Younghoon which was telling her that he would drop by tonight, Nara probably wouldn't even leave Hyunjae's house - no, their house. In the deepest of her heart, she wanted to be there, she wanted to stay by her husband's side, her safest home.

"I am sorry..." She pursed her lips and quickly she closed the door, separating their world.

It surprised her that Hyunjae didn't question anything. She was expecting at least 'What are you sorry for?' But, none. Instead, Hyunjae grabbed the steering with his right hand, firming his grasp around it before his free hand shifted the gear and sped off.

He wasn't mad but it feared him that he might have taken her back home the longer he was there, breathing in the same air as her. Even trailing the driveway right now was suffocating. He was dying to make a U-turn and tell her to stop all this play.

"It won't last long," at last, he told himself as he hit the gas harder, the engine roaring ever so loudly beating a few other cars in the next lane.

Hyunjae didn't go home. It felt unfair to be there alone when she had prepared the house, drenching it with her colours and scent - especially with the dahlias, for herself but she couldn't be there. It felt wrong for him to enjoy it alone when it wasn't for him in the first place.

So, he swerved into another junction - opposite from where he was supposed to turn to go home. From a glance, he could say that it wasn't a good idea - it would never. But, it could be a good distraction.

"Spill how it started!"

Or not.

"Why it is a secret?" Kevin kept nudging him since the first moment Hyunjae appeared at his doorstep. "Just tell us how it started. That's all."

"I have nothing to tell. Okay?" He sternly glanced over the younger who sunk on the same couch as him. "Go away... Let me take this couch tonight."

Kevin was then pushed down to the floor and dramatically groaned. He was ready to launch a childish fight when the older laid down within the length of the couch, deeply staring at the ceiling above. However, he couldn't even start one when his housemate appeared out of nowhere, towering over both of them.

"You're spending the night here?" Jacob questioned which Hyunjae hummed with eyes closed. "Alright..."

"Alright? That's all?" Kevin was furious, a hard slap landed on Jacob's calf. "Ask him why he wants to sleep here."

"This is not the first time, anyway," Jacob shrugged as he looked down at Kevin hoping that the younger could just let it slide.

Yes, Kevin admitted that it wasn't that weird to have Hyunjae in their shared apartment. When the latter tried to adapt to the loss of Lee Nara, he would come here to have a chat that wouldn't lead them into any topic related to her which was effective.

But, the picture right now did not click.

"Why do you look so down when you clearly have Dabin, now? Why do you still need us, bro?" Kevin pondered, poking Hyunjae's bare arm next. "Tell us..."

And it somehow made Jacob feel so dumb for not thinking about it. Kevin got his point anyway, and why didn't he think about it too?

"You, okay?" Jacob cautiously took turns asking as he slowly got down on the matted floor, next to Kevin. "We are here to listen anyway."

Deeply sighing, Hyunjae then sat up, huffing on his lap. Now, he regretted everything.

He regretted that he let Nara go back to Younghoon's house, he regretted speeding off the road after dropping her off, he regretted that he didn't make that damn U-turn, and his biggest regret was coming here.

For, it was really hard to keep this feeling to himself when two pairs of hawk eyes were piercing their stares into his skull. The urge was jumping from the deepest level of his gut to come out through his mouth. He was dying to tell his friends everything. And when he said everything, he meant everything - from how Nara came back to the situation where he had to watch his wife who was bearing his child under Younghoon's care.

But, he couldn't.

"Why she wanted to keep this a secret from them?" He miserably scratched his scalp as he inaudibly mumbled.

His action was concerning even just for the onlookers to see. It was far more concerning than those dreaded days he was grieving like this was the real matter he had to deal with.

"Bro, what's going on?" Kevin moved closer to him.

Hyunjae bit his lower lip, squeezing his eyes tight in the process. He then sighed, releasing a mountain of burden off his shoulders before he got himself composed.

Yes, I can do this, he assured himself, getting his focus darted on the two again.

"How is Younghoon doing at work?"