In the end, it's only us - Kate Martin

14. Mistakes

April 7th, 2023; Iowa City, Iowa

Chapter 14.

Narrative

3rd POV;

Despite having an amazing day yesterday, something always managed to ruin her next day.

It's as if the big guy had wanted to make her day bad because her sister, had come across her. Now they're there, in some damn sidewalk on campus standing awkwardly.

"How have you been?" Elle's voice softly coursed through Liv's ears, causing all the anger she had towards her sister slightly decrease.

"I've been good." Liv responds back, not caring to ask about what her sister has been up to the past almost 4 years. Yeah, almost 4 years. Even after Olivia caught Michael cheating on her with her own SISTER, she made the stupidest decision.

Going back to him and staying with him for another 2 years almost 3, that was until Drew had enough with the on and off relationship that he knocked some sense into Liv, not literally.

"Look, I know I've said this multiple times already. But I truly regret the mistakes that I did, and I know you won't be able to forgive me. I was so stupid, so so so stupid that I didn't even think about the consequences. So stupid that I didn't think about how upset you would be and so stupid to think that our relationship will remain strong after this. I'm so sorry, Olivia. I know as your big sister I failed you, I failed myself even. And though I know you probably don't ever want to talk to me anymore, just know that I love you and I'm so fucking sorry about everything. I promise you I'll spend my whole life asking for forgiveness until my last day." This whole thing Elle said made Olivia feel different emotions.

Sadness, anger, sympathy, confusion and most of all, grief. Grief because she is grieving over the loss of their sisterhood. Though it's been over years ago, she knows now that maybe they'll never have that again.

She doesn't even realize she's lost in thoughts as she feels a soft hand on her face and stares to see Elle looking at her, tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Livvy." Livvy. That was the nickname Elle had given her since they were little girls, she's never allowed anybody to call her that.

It'll only remind her of her sister, her best friend before Drew. The girl she'd run to whenever she had accidentally scraped her knee because she fell off the bike. Now it doesn't even matter. They were just two girls who happened to have shared the same blood.

Feeling Elle's soft touch reminds her of when they were little girls, they'd hold hands and run away from houses after ding dong ditching them.

"I don't know if we'll ever have the same relationship ever again, but I forgive you, Elle. I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for myself. I can't keep grudges because you're already living your consequences and that's the guilt that's consuming you. First you need to forgive yourself, we may not ever speak to each other again, but just know that I hope you find peace within yourself, Elizabeth." She may seem crazy, but in reality she forgave her a while back.

People may think that Liv is crazy, but holding a grudge against her sister for what happened years ago won't help. What happened, happened. And although yea, she's pretty fucking pissed about it still when she thinks about it; it's not like she could go back in time and change what happened. Maybe it was for the best.

No matter what, she knew that eventually she'd forgive her sister. Forgive but don't ever forget. Ever since that day, she'd pray and pray and pray, pray for an answer. She never got it, but remained hopeful that one day, she'll get an answer as to why.