Nociceptors

Chapter 19: Mother

It had been a couple of intense weeks emotionally, now the physical part was about to begin Luci thought as she listened to Ella's slow breaths next to her. They had stayed up all night talking about different reasons for Mr. Han's and Drogo's actions and Luci had explained everything for Ella that was going on. It still bothered her that Ella refused to go to the country estate but at the same time Luci was thankful to have Ella by her side again. Even though she knew Ella was going to be okay the feeling of thinking she had lost her was nothing Luci wanted to experience again.

She took a deep breath and was about to close her eyes to try and get some sleep when she noticed Ella's breathing changing. Luci lifted herself up on her elbow and looked at her. She frowned as she stroked a strand of hair away that had gotten stuck in Ella's lashes. Luci thought Ella's nightmares had disappeared weeks ago so why where they back now? The questioned bothered her and she put a hand on Ella's arm to wake her up. But as she did Ella's eyes struck open, and she quickly sat up trying to get away from Luci. It took her a second to realize where she was but when she did Luci could see tears streaming down her face.

"Hey, it's okay my love it was just a nightmare" Luci said in a soft voice as she watched Ella staring at her from the other side of the bed. Ella dried away the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand as she smiled embarrassed at Luci.

"I know" her voice sounded thick as she spoke "I'm sorry, don't worry about it" Ella added, and she was about to get up and leave the bed when Luci grabbed her arm and pulled her into her arms.

"Don't go" Luci said as she brushed her thumb over Ella's cheek. She was trying to avoid talking about it, Luci knew that. It had been a topic Ella had been avoiding since the beginning. Luci knew that she had said she wouldn't push Ella to tell her about it, but she didn't want her to have to deal with whatever made her this upset alone anymore.

"Please talk to me" Luci whispered into Ella's hair. Ella didn't say anything.

She remained silent for a while before she pulled away from Luci, not in the way that she was trying to get away from her but just so she could look at her. Ella looked sad as she started to tell Luci about the nightmare.

"It's not really a nightmare more than it is a memory of my past. It a memory from the day my sister died that have hunted my dreams for the last five years" Ella could feal the words getting stuck in her throat, but she kept going. She knew she had to tell Luci sooner than later and now felt like good time with everything else that was brewing at the horizon.

"I was sixteen at the time and my sister was twenty, I remember that it was raining but I don't know If it was cold or warm outside there was so much going on. Most of the nightmare contains images but a lot of time its only her screams that I hear. Screams that I wish I could erase from my memories for good. The dreams, they all feel so real like I am back there by her side in that abandon building kneeling in the puddle made from her blood". Ella observed Luci's reaction, but her face remained calm.

"My sister was pregnant and in labor. There was nothing I could do, and my sister refused to go to the hospital. Not that we could have gone even if she wanted to. My sister was quite stubborn, but her intentions were always good. She knew that if she gave birth at the hospital, they would take the baby away from her.

I was against her arguing but when she put her mind to something there was no way to make her change it. I which I had tried harder though then both her and the child would have been alive. That's always the feeling in my nightmare that takes the hardest grip around my heart the knowledge that I could have taken her to the hospital or asked for help but never did".

Luci was about to say something, but Ella stopped her she needed to hear the whole story first.

"My sisters screams stopped abruptly and all you could hear was the hammering of the rain hitting the roof. Seconds later another scream filed the building. I can still remember the smile on her face when I handed her the blood-soaked baby. It was a kind of joy I never seen her show before. She stroked his head and left a light kiss on his forehead before turning and looking at me. She made me promise to take care of him no matter what happened before she gave birth. Now when she looked at me with the child in her arms the words came over her lips in no more than a whisper. Remember your promise, please take care of him for me. That was her last breath and the baby that had stopped screaming started the moment his mother's heart stopped beating. I don't' really know what happened after that everything disappears into a blur of him crying and me trying to stop shaking while taking my big sister's baby from her limp arms". Ella let out a long breath as she said the last sentence. Her body felt heavy but still lighter after telling Luci about her sisters last hours on earth. It was not a pretty story, but it was a truth that Ella had caried with her for years while keeping her promise to her sister.

The silence in the dark room felt thick and Ella could see how Luci's mind had realized what Ella just had told her. Ella was expecting Luci to ask all sort of questions like what she did to her sister's body or why she didn't take her to the hospital. But the words that came out of her mouth was not the question she was expecting.

"What was your sisters name" Luci's voice was calm as always and Ella was a bit taken back by that. So, it took her a second to answer.

"Her name was Asaka".

"Beautiful death". Ella just stared at Luci, yes that was the meaning of her sister's name. She always thought it was ironic, but it also had given her a sort of explanation to her death. She died giving birth to a life that she already loved and cherished. In one way that thought had helped Ella trough the denial face of her sisters passing.

Luci pulled Ella back into an embrace and kissed her on the head.

"Thank you for telling me. I am sorry you had to go through that by yourself" Luci said softly.

"And I hope you know you're a wonderful mother and I'm sure Asaka is very proud of you".

Ella smiled into Luci's chest she hoped that to.