PART XXXVIII

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Standing in the comfort of the white space, doubling over, Ethiel looked out at the cosmic space or whatever that whirling abstract mix of black and green was, puzzled by it. He checked his body, arms, and legs, touching them with his arms. He groped all over his body, feeling it all with his hands to make sure he was not torn to shreds or missing a part. Then he touched his face, his clammy with sweat skin, the messy blonde mop over his head called hair, his ears and eyes. He was fine — at least not in any mortal danger.

His chest was puffing out and deflating deeply with each heavy, panicked breath he heaved. Explosions of heartbeats pumped blood like flood throughout his body. Sweat drenched him. His throat went dry with fear and shock.

He looked up at the cosmic space again, and then at the spirit that was hovering beside him, laughing to its heart's content at his condition.

"What was that?" He asked with a gulp, eyes still wide.

"What was what?" The spirit shrugged.

"That... That!" Ethiel pointed out at the cosmos beyond the white grass. "I saw things... I remembered things! Things that never happened... What does that mean... Tell me!"

"Ohhh, thatttttt." A tilted smile stretched on its face and it folded its arms casually behind its head. "What do you mean that never happened?" It asked back with a naughty frown.

Ethiel didn't know what to say.

"All that happened to you, lover boy!" The spirit exclaimed. "In another universe, to another you, all that happened. So don't say it didn't."

Whatever that meant, Ethiel couldn't understand. Those words went over his head. "What do you mean?" He asked, agape.

"What are you? A little child?" It scoffed. "What didn't you understand? Did you think you're the only 'Ethiel' that exists? In this world, there are infinite universes. What you saw and experienced were memories from a few of your alternate versions who live — lived and will live — in those different universes, parallel and non-parallell. Get it now? Or would you like me to read you a bed time story?"

"There are... more universes?" Ethiel was awestruck.

"There are. You passed the Cave of Truth without knowing that? You probably did it by the help of your friends." The spirit shook its head. "And now that they're not here, you can't do anything."

That hit Ethiel hard. There was some truth to it. He had reached that point only because others helped him. Without them, he wouldn't have even been alive maybe, he thought. He felt so tiny suddenly.

"And now comes the insecurities and doubts. I don't know what your mother saw in you to entrust you with this." It turned away.

Anger rose in Ethiel, but it got drowned in the sea of sadness that swelled out of proportion inside his head and heart.

"You going to get out there or you want to leave?" It asked, looking over its shoulders.

Ethiel looked out at the black space again, the thought of getting bombarded by all those feelings, sensations, and perceptions made his shoulders shrink in as a drop of sweat trickled down his forehead. He felt choked just by thinking of stepping out there again. He wasn't ready to go back there again so quick, he wanted some time.

"Take your time." The spirit smirked. "Maybe that will help you be more prepared. That's a big maybe, for your information."

Ethiel sat down on the white space, closing his eyes, and trying to forget all those memories he saw. He squeezed his eyes as he tried to force all of it out his head, but the more he tried to, the more those memories became vivid and stubborn. He opened his eyes and slapped the white ground underneath.

"Scarred already?" The spirit had just found another reason to chuckle annoyingly.

"How is this even possible?!" He looked up at the spirit. "Even if there are other universes, how come I be seeing those memories and experiencing all that?? Tell me how!"

"Now that's a good question." The spirit nodded and looked at the black and green. "Listen carefully, I don't like to repeat things."

Ethiel adjusted his posture a bit, all attention of the spirit's face.

"Becauseee... There is no reason!" It clapped its hands and laughed. "Kidding, just kidding."

That made Ethiel's cheeks red.

"The thing is, every universe has points where space and time get funny. They get mixed into a cacophony. These are where the inter-dimensional barriers get blurred. This forest, is one of those points, and I am in charge of it and the fragment of the Pyramid of Lomeyin. And in this forest, this particular spot, this is where the cacophony is the craziest."

There was nothing to be said, only to be awed.

"Any more questions? No? Good. Now rest. When you're ready, go past that and call my name. I know you ain't got it in you to reach that fragment. But you are a perfect entertainment for me, given your huge basket of insecurities and fears."

It seemed that the spirit had decided Ethiel wasn't going to succeed. But Ethiel didn't have the energy to bother about that. His only concern was to succeed. So without countering its words or statements, he continued to rest his mind and body — that in itself had become a task after what he just experienced.

After resting a while and getting prepared to go through that harsh environment, he got up on his feet again.

Walking through the white grass, his feet overly hesitant as he neared the edge, he heard the spirit giggle behind him, but he discarded that.

Once again, he paused before stepping out into the black space. Bracing himself for all those unpleasant things, Ethiel stepped out into the cosmic field again, ripples of energy spreading out from under his feet.

The wave of energy hit him again and he became one with the whole field, misty colourful threads reeling out of him and dissolving into the surroundings.

His head got ambushed by alternate memories. Emotions and feelings erupted within him, contradicting ones and ones he never ever felt in his life. Sensations overwhelmed him into screaming again. But he didn't want to turn tail and run back into comfort so easily...

Holding his head with one hand and clutching his chest with another, Ethiel dared to take two more steps. The intensity of the feelings, sensations, and perceptions increased. His legs almost gave up on him, but he wobbled back into balance and took another step. And then another. But with each step he took, the intensity of feelings and the volume of memories rushing through his head increased exponentially.

It felt like he was being crushed by a mountain of everything unpleasant, a mountain of his nightmares, all while being blinded by light and deafened by blaring whispers and and burnt by a thousands suns.

He looked up ahead, the white pillar seemed to be at the same distance. He looked over his shoulders, gritting his teeth, to see how far he had come. His shrinking heart almost stopped when he realised he had only taken a few steps out of the white space.

The spirit was giggling at him with amusement.

He took another step forward and the weight of perceptions and painful memories finally collapsed right over him, shattering his endurance in a snap.

"TREEEEEEE!!!" He cried out again reflexively.

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