Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
69. CONCEPTS
note: all i have to say now is that you guys are getting fattened up from how much i am feeding you
looking back on it now i should've added a karasu cameo in honour of this being chapter 69... oh well !!! i miss my man guys
˖*⋆｡˚𖦹࣪˖ ִֶָ⋆｡°✩
THE
concept of love has always been something foreign to you. Not love, as in kissing in public, holding your significant other when you are upset, or posting about each other on your own respective social media platforms—but real, unadulterated, heart-crushing love.
Love that changes the way you see the world and love that crushes your ribs and consumes you whole. Love that burns into your skin and love that makes you light on fire and burn to fallen ash.
You have never experienced such a kind of love.
You love your little sisters. You love your family. You also loved the white tea-cup puppy you used to own as a child. You love your friends. You love everyone you've ever met.
But you don't think you've ever wished to burn to pure molten fire for the one you have loved.
You think the closest you have ever gotten to that sort of love was what you have found within their eyes. Multiple nights of your heart attempting to be claimed by others—of love bursting through the walls and permeating the rooms with warmth.
Multiple nights of confusion for you.
Peering into their eyes—clearly darkened and glazed over with an emotion you previously did not know how to describe—you see it all so clearly. It is that kind of love they are feeling.
You don't know what to feel. You're sure you never know what to feel most of the time—but in moments like this, you feel like your body does not belong to you and your mind is simply inhabiting it for the moment. Like you are a spectator in your own mind.
All that you could possibly bear to think in such a moment is that for even just one night—if you allow yourself to kiss them—you can feel whatever emotion that clouds their eyes. Perhaps you are too curious for your own good—or too weak.
Maybe in that way you have not yet changed from that poor little girl who had everything and yet nothing all the same, taken away from her. To feel like this—it causes great grief, upon you, too.
Everything has changed. Everything is changing so much, so fast, that sometimes, it is difficult to keep up.
Fondness for all the people who have helped you change still lingers. You keep hope that maybe, one day, your heart and mind shall move forward and perhaps you will feel that kind of burning love for somebody one day.
