The Black Winter

Chapter 23

Bucky's pov
As I am waiting in the common room on Steve and mine floor, I am sitting at the island counter with a glass of whiskey in my hands.

I felt so bad for Joan. She's been through so much and everyone just seems to treat her like shit. It drives me crazy. And now, poor girl was sick as a dog. But what I don't get is how. How can a super soldier like her get sick like that? Not to mention that she has more than Steve and I.

Suddenly, I can hear whimpering come from my room. I get up and make my way into the room. As I entire, Joan seems sweatier then before. I go over to her and place my hand on her forehead, and now she's even hotter. I can hear her mumbling, she's hallucinating.

I go into my bathroom closet and pull out a wash cloth. I make my way into the bathroom and run the wash cloth under cold water. I then make my way back to Joan and place it on her forehead. She was laying straight and tense.

"Shhh, it's ok doll," I say softly into her ear.

While my one hand is on the wash cloth, the other one is on the top of her head, playing with her hair. I couldn't believe that she was actually here. I couldn't help but feel a warm feeling inside my chest.

Then, Joans breathing starts to become heavier and her whimpers turn into tears.

"Joan, it's ok. It's not real, you need to wake up," I coo. I felt so bad for her, she could never catch a break.

She arches her back and lets out a cry. Only problem though, is that I can't tell whether it's a nightmare or just part of the fever.

  "It's ok Joan, your ok. It's just a dream. Your safe," I say softly.

  Then, she sits up with a bit of a jump. She turns her head to look at me and I can see something inside her shift. Then she bursts out into tears and turns back around to curl up into herself. I have never seen her this vulnerable, it took me by surprise.

  I go up to her and take me into my arms. I was expecting her to pull away, but instead she embraces me and hugs me back. So, I pull her closer into my chest. I just sit there with her as she cries, gently shushing her and telling her that it will all be ok and what not.

  Eventually, she calms down and we just sit there in silence, still with her never letting go of me. I just sit there, stroking her hair and rubbing her back, trying to keep her calm. I can't believe how hot she feels, this can't be safe for.

  "You ok?" I ask.

  She nods her head, but doesn't respond with words.

  "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

  She shakes her head no. I don't push it, so I let it go.

Joan's pov
  Once I've calmed down and Bucky and I are back to our normal resting state, we both lay back down on the bed and watch some tv. I'm laying on his chest with one arm over his chest and the other one under his arm. Meanwhile, Bucky has me wrapped up in a hug.

  I felt safe with him, I really did. As we're laying there watching some sort of sitcom, my stomach starts making crazy noises.

  I look back to James who's now looking down to me. He lets out a chuckle and gets up from the bed.

  "Where are you going?" I ask, my voice coming out in a panic. He can't leave me.

  "Don't worry," he chuckles. "I'm just going to get you some food."

  I watch him leave and all of the sudden, I get chills running all down my spine. I bundle up with the covers and let out a sigh. Why do I feel like this? I can remember a time when I felt like this, but there's no way that it could be back. Not with the serum.

  Eventually, Bucky comes back with a tray. On it, is a bowl and a clear plastic bottle with a green liquid in it. Once he gets to me he sets the tray down on the bed and goes into the bathroom. I watch as he does so, my eyes never leaving him. Eventually he comes back with a wash cloth.

  "We need to bring your fever down," he simply says, taking a seat on top of the covers.

  He places the cold cloth on the back of my neck and I immediately pull away, seeing that I was already freezing.

  "I know it's cold but we need to keep it on," he says.

  I let him place it back on me and then he tells me to eat. I look down at the soup in front of me. There were little dumplings or something in it with a yellow broth.

  "It's wonton soup. Don't worry, I didn't poison it. The drink is Gatorade, we need to get electrolytes in you," he adds.

  I nod my head and we go back to watching tv and eating. It was nice to be able to not worry about things and to just sit here with him. It reminded me of old time. Shit! I need to get back to finding Ivan.

  I quickly get out of bed and make my way to the computer labs until James grabs my arm. I turn around to face him.

  "Where are you going doll? You need to rest."

  "I can't. I need, I need to find Ivan," I tell him, already out of breath.

  "Joan, it's ok. Natasha and Clint are on it as we speak."

  "No, no something's not right. I. I." I feel like I'm going to pass out. My legs give out and James catches me.

  "We need to get you back into bed."

  "No, no the screens. James, I have a bad feeling," I tell him, gripping onto him for support.

  "What about the screens?" He asks, sitting me down on the bed.

  "Before the alarms went off, the Hydra logo popped up on the screen. Before I passed out, I saw a figure," I confess.

  "The figure could have been me," James says, but I just shake my head.

  "No, no, no. It wasn't you. I know you. I know your figure, I know your sent, I know your mind. This, this wasn't you," I state. "I'm not crazy. You need to believe me."

  "I do Joan. I saw mud on the ground where you were. But I mean you were hacking into the Hydra data base, maybe you just hit a fire wall. Look, we need to get you back to one-hundred percent, ok?"

  "It doesn't matter, I'm fine. Look, just for a little," I push forward. Eventually, he gives in.