My Heart Says It's Her (FreenBecky)

Chapter 28: Retrospect

Chapter 28: Retrospect

Kyth's POV

"Kyth" naalimpungatan ako sa boses na nang-gagaling sa labas ng guestroom ni David. "May I come in?" Dagdag pa nito saka ako bumangon at pinagbuksan ng pinto si David.

"There's someone who likes to see you" he said at tinignan ang taong nasa sala.

"Kyth. Anak" salubong sakin ni mom and there, I bursted into tears.

"My baby, I am so sorry if ngayon lang si mommy naka visit sayo. Hindi ko alam kung saan kita hahanapin, bukod sa nag-iingat ako dahil ayokong maka sense ang daddy at lolo mo, I can't contact you either mabuti nalang at sinabi sa akin ni Kyron kung nasaan ka." She said almost whispering while hugging me. Humuhikbi din si mommy habang nakayakap sakin. She let me go at hinarap si David. "Thank you David for taking good care of my unica hija. I couldn't thank you enough for keeping her safe"

"Walang problema, tita. You know very well that I'm always here for Kyth since college"

Napangiti ako sa sinagot ni David kay mommy. Even though pinagtutulakan ko siya at iniinsulto these past few years ay hindi niya ako iniwan. I know the feelings he has for me pero he knows damn well na hindi ko kayang suklian yun sa paraang gusto niya and he's still there genuinely helping me get through the years.

Iniwan kami ni David sa sala upang makapag-usap kami ni mommy. We talked just like before, hindi ko naramdaman na nagbago ang tingin niya sa akin. At ganun din ako sa kanya. Pero there is this small disappointment na alam kong nararamdaman din niya.

"I know that things has been rough lately anak. I can't bear the consequences kung malaman ng daddy at lolo mo kung nasan ka. They're both furious Kyth.-"

"Kaya ba they're doing everything in their power para idiin ako sa kasalanang hindi ko naman ginawa?"

"No anak. This is what I need you to understand. Your lolo and daddy loves you--"

"Love? What do they know about love? Kung mahal nila ako hindi nila ako ilalagay sa sitwasyon na kasing komplikado nito. Are you really here dahil concerned ka sakin or you're  just here to save lolo and daddy's face?" I exclaimed at tinignan si mom ng naka kunot ang noo. Really? Love? Nakakatawa.

"Kyth, don't say that-"

"Say what mom? Yan ba ang pagmamahal na pilit mong pinapasok sa utak ko? You don't know what I went through para lang tignan nila ako ng may pagmamahal. Pero after all those hardwork hindi nila ako magawang suklian. I don't need this luxury! I don't even want SGC! Lahat nalang ng gusto ko pinagbawal nila. I even gave up my dream to become a doctor like dad dahil mas inuna nila ang kumpanya kesa sakin!"

"Ang kumpanyang yun ang bumubuhay satin, Kyth!"

"No mom! Ang kumpanyang yun ang sumira satin! SGC ruined our family! Dahil mas pipiliin pa nila ang SGC kesa sa sarili nilang pamilya" I burst and that caused the silence sa loob ng sala ng mansion ni David. I wiped my tears at naglakad papunta sa mini bar ni David na nasa sala lang din ng bahay. I poured some whiskey sa baso at diretsaang nilagok yon.

"Kelan ka pa natutong uminom, Kyth?" Mom broke the silence. Hinarap ko siya and saw her wiping the tears from her eyes. Parang dinurog ang puso kong makita siyang umiiyak. I've never seen her cry like this before.

"Simula ng talikuran ako ng sarili kong pamilya" I said through gritted teeth. I was about to go back sa guestroom ng magsalita ulit si mom.

"Can you sleep well? Kahit wala ako sa tabi mo?" She asked sobbing. Napapikit ako ng mariin dahil these past few weeks ay wala akong sapat na tulog dahil sanay ako na may katabi, na siya ang katabi ko.

"I'm coping. Don't worry"

"Kyth. This is the truth. Your lolo and daddy loves you. Sana naman ay paniwalaan mo yon. Your lolo would not have agreed to replace your dad as the CEO kung wala siyang tiwala sa kakayanan mo, he--"

"Because there's no other option. Dahil si Kyron hinayaan nilang gawin ang bagay na gusto niya, na pinagkait nila sakin. Is that the love you're trying to imply? They don't love me dahil hindi ako totoong Sandoval. Because according to Emilio, the blood running inside my vein is the blood of a whore. Kaya don't force me to believe na mahal nila ako" puno ng pait na bigkas ko. Halos mabilaukan ako sa mga sinasabi ko. Ang sakit. Sobrang sakit.

"Kung hindi ka nila mahal, they would've let you rot in jail, but instead, they fought for your freedom. Nakalimutan mo na ba yon?"

"Don't you even go there mom! Pilit ko ng kinakalimutan ang nangyari. Please, don't go there. Aksidente ang nangyari. Alam niyo yon!" I lashed at her ng ipaalala niya ang nakaraan na pilit kong kinakalimutan. I curled my fist dahil nararamdam ko ang panginginig neto. "I want to be alone mom, salamat sa pag bisita mo. Mag ingat ka pauwi" and with that ay agad kong tinakbo ang pagitan ng guestroom at sala. Narinig ko pang tinawag ako ni mom pero I didn't bother to look back. I need space. I need some air.

Pagdating ko sa kwarto ay agad kong ni lock ang pinto. Napahiga ako sa malambot na kama at di ko napigilan ang mga luha ko.

I am getting too emotional these past few weeks. Sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko.

Why is this happening to me?

Kabayaran na ba to sa nagawa kong kasalanan noon?

But I didn't mean to. Aksidente lang ang lahat.

I cried my heart out ng muli kong naalala ang nangyari 10 years ago. It's been a long time but it keeps on haunting me. My therapy worked but hindi talaga maiwasan na maalala ko. I shut my eyes close at hinayaang lamunin ako ng kadiliman at katahimikan.

Nasaan ako?

A dream?

Naglalakad ako sa mahabang pasilyo ng isang paaralan. Maraming students and I saw some familiar faces. I am admiring the whole scenery ng biglang tumingin silang lahat sa paanan ko.

"Kyth! What did you do?!" I saw and heard Kyron.

"Kyth! I think you killed him!" Bigkas ni Claire.

I looked at the person na nakabulagta sa harapan ko. Naliligo sa sarili niyang dugo, walang buhay. Nanginginig ang kamay ko, and when I looked at my hands, I saw the bloodied broken glass bottle. My hands and my uniform are soaked with his blood.

"Kyth! Hand me your phone. Tatawagan ko sina daddy. Diyan ka lang. Look what you've done!"

What have I done?

Bigla akong napabalikwas ng bangon dahil sa bangungot na pilit kong tinatakasan, this is the reason why I don't want to sleep alone dahil those memories keeps on flashing back. No matter how hard I try to escape my dreadful past, its haunting tendrils refuse to let go of my spirit, drawing me back into the darkness with each passing moment.

I wiped my tears away at tinignan ang oras sa bagong cellphone na bigay ni David. It's still 3 am, mahaba pa ang oras bago mag umaga.

I typed a text to Claire na gusto kong makipagkita sa kanya. Gusto kong may makausap dahil parang mababaliw ako kung ako lang mag isa. Mabuti nalang at memorize ko ang number niya.

I rolled over the bed tumitig sa kisame. Kailan ba matatapos ang impyernong buhay to?

xxxx
My Heart Says It's Her