Clean Slate

Chapter 16

"You know, you're going to have to go to school again eventually."

I groaned, my mom sighing as she continued to stroke my hair. I was currently laying in her lap on our couch, a tv show playing in the background as my mom rubbed my back and played with my hair.

After coming to get me, she'd encouraged me to tell her what happened between me and Ava, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her the whole truth.

Instead I told her that Ava felt I just wasn't me anymore, and she thought I was being a bad girlfriend to Carter. I left Owen out of it, knowing somewhere deep down that I was in the wrong.

"Maybe Ava's on her monthly cycle, hormones can get crazy." My mom suggested, still stroking my hair. "Just give her time. You guys have had fights before."

That was true, but the last fight we had was in middle school, over who's scrunchies were who's. "Not like this."

"Yes like this. You guys are always jealous of someone or each other, this is just big girl jealousy."

I sighed, knowing she had a point. "Should I text her?"

"Give her some space. Let her come to you when she's ready."

I nodded, appreciating my moms advice. The hard part was that I wanted to text Owen, more than anyone else. He would take my mind off of things, take me to the rink, help me get better at skating or scoring goals.

But I couldn't, not after everything Ava said.

So instead of following my heart, I followed my head. And i texted the person I should've been.

Me: Hey, me and Ava got into a fight. I feel awful.

Carter 🤍: What happened?

Me: I don't even know, it got so out of control.

Carter 🤍: U want me to talk to her?

Me: Actually I was hoping maybe you could come over? I could use some comfort and distraction right now.

Carter 🤍: Distraction? 👀 kidding, but i'm out of town rn, can i come by tmrw?

Me: Yeah that's fine.

Carter 🤍: Ok.

I felt let down. I got what I wanted out of that conversation, but it felt incomplete.

"So who you texting?" My mom asked, smiling down at me. She must've seen Carter's name.

"Carter." I turned my phone off and put it aside, knowing no one would be texting me on it. "He's gonna stop by tomorrow to make me feel better."

My mom smiled a little more. "That's nice of him honey."

"So you approve now?" I asked, rolling over so I could look up at my mom as she played with my hair.

My mom shrugged. "I dunno, I want to support you."

"Thanks mom." She didn't know that I had to force myself to text him, or that I couldn't care less what he was doing out of town.

A selfish part of me hoped he was cheating, just so I could stop feeling so guilty over Ava's words. I knew I hadn't cheated by hanging out with Owen, but her words were tattooed on my brain at this point.

I selfishly hoped he was over me, but what if that meant Owen went too? Maybe Owen was only being nice to me because I'm dating his brother, maybe when Carter and I were over, Owen would be gone too.

"So your dad told me you're interested in driving?" My mom asked, speaking as she watched the tv.

"Yeah." I turned my head to watch as well, some house hunting show.

"Do you want to schedule your first driving class? I mean, like mentally are you ready for that?"

I thought of Owen again, his voice as he helped me work through my fear. "I'm ready."

"Really?" My mom couldn't hide her happiness. "Your dad is so mad but I already have a car picked out and everything."

I smiled. "Poor dad."