Room

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I wanted to visit Mausam but then I was contemplating it. If I visited her there would be people I didn't want to meet starting with him. Would he be there with Nimek and Mausam? I sat beside my mother who had finally gone to sleep.

I got up from there and walked out still thinking If I should visit her. It would be wrong not to go there after Nimek had invited me. Nimek would later tell her about me and she would be hurt that I didn't come to meet her.

I went back to my apartment to get ready. Before leaving I asked Laxmi If she would be with my mother for the evening. Once I was inside I took a shower and put on a dress I had just bought last week. It was a baby pink strapless short dress. I decided not to touch my hair as it had grown a little over the months. It was wavy and almost reached my neck.  I stood looking at the mirror and then at the tattoo on my shoulder. A year ago I had gotten a sun, moon and little stars tattoo on my shoulder. It started from the upper left arm and ended up touching my neck, covering a little part of the collarbone. This tattoo gave me some kind of comfort I couldn't understand.

I left a message to Nimek once I was outside the gate. He was in front of me in a few minutes.

"Glad you came," he said with a smile.

Maybe I was imagining things. How could a man like him smile? Mausam must have turned him into something softer. Men need women to turn them softer. How pathetic was that?

"Thank you for inviting me,"

When we walked towards the door he told me they hadn't invited many people to the party.

"Just a few of her colleagues," he said.

I wanted to ask him about Alan. Was he here too? I thought better than to take his name on my tongue. Not worth it. He probably must have children by now. He must be happy. I blew a deep breath and walked inside. The house was full of lights and some people. Mostly women. My heart was relieved when I didn't see him. 

"Let me get her," he whispered to which I nodded. 

After some time they were in front of me and I heard the scream of Mausam which made me smile. She quickly pulled me into a hug.

"Best gift ever,"

"But where were you all these years?" she questioned. "I need all the answers,"

"Happy birthday," I said with a nod and handed her my gift. I wasn't sure what to get her so I decided to go with a dress.

Mausam had got rid of her bangs and glasses. She looked good in her brown dress. Nimek and Mausam had got married six months after I had left. I wished I was there to attend it but when I saw the pictures of their wedding with Alan on it, I realised it was better I wasn't there.

 I was hoping she would introduce me to her child maybe. It had been almost four years since they got married so maybe they had a child? Instead, she took me towards a bunch of people and introduced me to them.

"She is my best friend. We met after five years," she told them.

"She will stay, " she said when they asked her when I was leaving.

How on earth did she believe that I would stay? I haven't planned anything yet but I wasn't going to stay here.

I almost cut her off but thought otherwise. I could talk to her later.

When it was time to cut the cake, Nimek took her away. She cut the cake and everyone started to get on the dance floor. I watched them dance for some time and my heart started to hurt thinking about the time Alan and I had danced. After all these years I still thought of him. I tried hard to get him away from my mind but he was all I had in me. I had told him I would forget him but I guess I failed to keep my promise.

Shaking the thoughts away I was just about to walk towards the corner when someone spilled the drink on my dress.

"I am really sorry," she said.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say it was okay as it wasn't. The dress was so cute and she ruined it.

"There's the way to the washroom," she said before I could reply. 

"I could take you there," she offered.

"That's alright," I said and quickly left towards the door. 

I opened the first door I saw in front of me. There was a sound coming from inside. The television was on but no one was inside. I didn't turn on the lights as I could see around the room with the help of the lights coming out of the television. Why would anyone leave the television on? I went to clean my dress. Thankfully, there wasn't much damage done to my dress.

I closed the bathroom room and noticed the channel had been changed. I looked around the room. Then I saw a figure in the far corner of the couch. I took slow steps and my heart dropped. Why was he all alone here? I couldn't see him properly but I knew it was him. His head turned towards me and my feet stopped moving. I tried but my body refused to move. I clutched on my dress. The side of his face was covered with hair. I could only outline his face. He opened his mouth but before he could speak I turned and left.

What was that? I almost had a heart attack.

"Where were you?" Mausam asked when she saw me. "I was looking for you everywhere,"

"Washroom,"

"I thought you left,"

"Are you okay?" she said scanning my face.

I nodded but I wasn't. I just saw him and why wasn't he here? outside to celebrate her birthday. Was it because I was here? It was already getting late for me. Mausam insisted I stay but I couldn't leave my mother alone.

"We have so much to talk about," she said. "I want to know where you were and what you did,"

"We can meet again," I suggested. I wanted to get back to my mother as soon as possible. I hadn't left her alone since I was back from London.

"I will call you," she whispered.

At around 10 I left. I quickly got changed after getting into my apartment and left for the hospital. When I went there Laxmi was still with my mother.

"I am sorry. I am late,"

"You should have taken the night off your duty. I would have been here with her,"

"That's sweet of you but I couldn't take more of your time,"

"I am her friend," she said with a smile. "She can take as much time as she can,"

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Call me whenever you need me,"

Laxmi told me mother hadn't opened her eyes since I left. I was glad she was having a nice sleep after two sleepless nights. Laxmi left shortly after that. I sat beside my mother watching her.  She looked so peaceful and out of pain.

Alan's face started to roam in front of my face. I couldn't see him properly but I was sure it was him. Wasn't he? Maybe I was imagining things. My phone chimed. I looked at it to find Mausam's message asking me to meet her for lunch tomorrow. My heart started to beat faster. What If I saw him again? I didn't want to see him again. Back there he was alone in the room and Rekha wasn't there. Maybe he was avoiding me. I would do the same.

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