Chapter 16 : Handling it alone

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Chapter 16

Later...     

Rocky POV

Riker had another nightmare while on the couch. He shot straight up and it turned into a panic attack. But it wasn't a panic attack like when I found him in the bathroom when the power went out. It was a panic attack like last night.

"Riker, what wrong? Is it a panic attack?" I asked.

He nodded.

"From a nightmare?"

He nodded again.

Dad was right. I am getting good at guessing what's wrong. But that doesn't mean I know what to do for him.

"Riker, I don't know-"

He wrapped his arms around my neck and climbed onto my lap.

"Ok..." I said, wrapping my arms around him.

I know dad thinks I can calm him down, but I'm not sure that's true.

I could feel his chest heaving against mine. And to be honest, it was starting to make me scared.

"Dad!" I called.

I waited a minute, but he didn't answer.

"Mom?"

She didn't answer either. Where are they?

"Riker, please tell me what to do. I don't know how to calm you down or make you feel better. And you're making me kind of scared."

He buried his face in my shoulder. Maybe he doesn't even know what he needs.

I heard the front door open, and dad came in. I motioned to him to come over and mouthed the words "help me" but he just gave me a thumbs up and went upstairs.

"Riker, please tell me what to do," I said, again.

I don't know why dad is making me handle this alone. I don't know what I'm doing.

"Riker, please try taking a few deep breaths."

I could feel him taking deep breaths. But they were very shaky. It felt almost hard for him to take deep breaths.

"Good. Keep doing that, Riker."

He kept taking deep breaths, and after a few minutes, he was calm again. I almost couldn't believe it.

Riker kept clinging to me even though he was calm. But I didn't care. I was just glad he was calm again because I was really getting scared.

And now I feel really tired. And I'm sure Riker does too.

I laid down on the couch, taking Riker with me. I pulled a blanket over us, and kept my arms around him tight.

I was half listening to the tv and half listening to his breathing to make sure he wasn't starting to panic again. And I ended up falling asleep.

Later...

Rocky POV

Riker went upstairs to go take a bath, so I went to go find dad to talk to him. He was outside again.

"Why didn't you help me!?" I asked.

"I wanted to see if you could handle it by yourself."

"Ok, but I was scared!"

"Well it seemed like you were able to handle it."

"I was, but I didn't know what to do. Why does he have to freak out like that?"

"It's probably from whatever trauma he went through when he lived at home."

"I wish I could ask him... I just want to know so bad. Don't you?"

"Yes. But if he won't even talk, I don't think it's a good idea to try to ask him what he went through."

"I know... But I wish I could. I'm still worried about what the court will decide though. If he's having panic attacks this bad and he's not even home, what's going to happen if he has to go back home? And if he has to go back home, and then ends up in the foster system again, can we get him back?"

"I don't know, Rocky. This is the first time we've ever had a foster kid here before. I don't really know how things work yet."

I sighed. I just want to help Riker and I want him to feel comfortable here and not scared.

I went back inside to wait for Riker. I went up to our room since that's where he'll probably go first after his bath.

After a little while, Riker came in. And he came straight over to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey, you doing ok?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Good. I'm glad. You kind of scared me earlier."

Riker let go of me and sat down on my bed.

"Riker, is there anything I can do to help?"

He shrugged his shoulders. I guess he doesn't know either.

"Ok, well if you think of something that would help, please let me know."

He nodded and then took me hand. He led me back downstairs to the living room. We sat down on the couch and he pulled the blanket from before over us. He laid down with his head in my lap and then sighed as if he was content now.

I put the tv back on and then rested my hand on Riker's side. I just hope if he falls asleep, he doesn't wake up to another panic attack.

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