Heal me ( Namkook)

Chapter 30 : Just a Guy !!

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It's been a few weeks since Namjoon's mental breakdown but instead of succumbing to sorrow and disappointment like he always did ,he decided to return to therapy.

That phone call from home acted as his saving grace, reminding him of the love and normalcy awaiting him post recovery.He realised he only needed to open his heart a little bit more to accept it fully. So, he recommitted himself to therapy with a renewed vigor and dedication.

Dr. Chen guided him through the setback and during this time Namjoon deliberately kept physical contact with his loved ones minimal..including with Jungkook. He had to lie to Jungkook about being busy with business trips knowing that he needed to stabilize himself before seeing him again.

Namjoon wasn't ready to burden Jungkook with his emotional struggles once again. He felt he owed Jungkook a sense of normalcy in their relationship, given how accepting Jungkook had been of everything and every baggage he came with.Namjoon believed Jungkook deserved better than just being a source to compensate for his emotional needs.

"Your assistant seems a bit strange.." Jungkook said as he stepped into Namjoon's office. "He looked like he swallowed a balloon when he saw me. And gave me these odd looks, and ran away like those cartoon characters ." He laughed slightly as he took of the cap he was wearing

"Is it okay to meet here? Won't people see?" Jungkook asked, looking at Namjoon who was sitting behind the large table on his chair.

"I have been meaning to see you. It's been a while, hasn't it?" Namjoon asked

Jungkook's expression softened into a pout. "A long while... weeks..almost a month. Were you that busy? Not even to see me once?" he asked, his disappointment evident making Namjoon smile

"Yeah, sorry about that!!" Namjoon replied, gesturing toward the chairs asking him to sit

Jungkook arched an eyebrow at Namjoon's unusually formal demeanor. Noticing that Namjoon didn't even rise from his seat to greet him, it was a bit startling considering how their relationship had changed over time but Jungkook shrugged it off and settled into a chair with a small smile, and excited to meet the elder again.

" How are you nowadays?!" Jungkook asked hugging on to his college bag in his lap, his eyes widened in curiosity.

Namjoon sighed and licked his lips, his hands folded together as he leaned forward to look at Jungkook. He felt a wave of regret inside him ,seeing the way Jungkook looked at him with so much affection..,he knew that the younger deserved so much better than to deal with his personal struggles all the time .

He took a deep breath in "So... the reason I kept you away..ahh..the reason I decided to take a break from meeting you was..." he paused, searching for the right words. "I had a slip."he managed to say at last

"A slip?" Jungkook's confusion was evident in his voice.

Namjoon nodded gulping down nervously "I just hit a low point in my recovery... succumbed to some dark thoughts...It was bad" he said trying to maintain his composure

He saw Jungkook's expression changing suddenly "Dark... what?! Did he come back? Did he do something to you again... hyung?" He started worrying

Namjoon shook his head "No..but... something happened, and I had some really unhinged thoughts which were not positive at all," Namjoon explained with his voice tinged with remorse.

Jungkook's heart sank as he realised he wasn't there to support Namjoon during his difficult time. "Why didn't you tell me, hyung?" he asked softly with his concern evident in his voice.