Southern Summer

Chapter Seventeen

 I almost had a heart attack when I came down the stairs the next morning. I had forgotten that my mom was here. She was slumped over a mug of steaming coffee at the counter. Her eyes were puffy and red when she glanced at me almost apologetically.

"Morning," I said hesitantly.

Grandma turned from her spot at the stove and gave me a spare smile, "Good morning sweetheart," she said quietly.

"I- I'm sorry," My mom started, causing my heart to flutter in fear, "For bursting in like I did yesterday and ruining your birthday."

I just blinked at her, not sure what to say. I would have said it was okay, but it really wasn't okay. Nothing was okay. I slid into a chair at the counter just as Grandma served to heaping breakfast plates. I wasn't aware until my first bite how hungry I was. Apparently my short run and also balling my eyes out the day before had made me ravenous.

Breakfast was silent after my mom's few words and I couldn't stand it. I pushed away from the counter and went to hide in my room. I was chin deep into catching up on Instagram (Lots of parties and oh, Shelby and Jason went everywhere together in case you were wondering), when my bedroom door squeaked open. I glanced up, saw my mom, then chose to ignore her and went back to scrolling.

I felt her weight on the bed, but refused to look, wishing she would get the message and leave.

"It's... It's not your fault," her voice whispered.

My thumb froze on my phone screen. Seriously?

"I never thought it was." I said flatly, glaring at her.

My mom blubbered for a second, "Of- of course! I just thought, sometimes when people get divorced the kids think it's their fault and it's not."

"I'm not the reason you and Dad are getting divorced. I'm the reason you ever got married."

The air was incredibly charged as my mom stared back at me. She didn't know what to say. Neither did I.

"I love you, Cara," My mom said.

I wondered who she was trying to convince more, me or her.

"Since when?!" I hadn't meant to yell. But that's how it came out, "You've never been around! And you're never happy with me when you are! You shipped me down here this summer and just when I was starting to be happy for once in my life you come back and ruin everything!"

My mom was crying. Okay, I felt bad. I had never actually made my own mother cry before. I started to cry too.

"I have always loved you Cara, you're my daughter," my mom said in a shaky, tear-soaked voice, "And I am so lucky to have you, I'm so proud of you, and I am so, so sorry that I failed you as a mother."

My chin muscles scrunched up my bottom lip for a really big sob, "You didn't fail me mom," I said, falling into her arms, "Dad failed us."

And we cried.

"I d-don't know where we'll go," My mother admitted.

I leaned back and looked into my moms eyes for a moment, thinking it over, "I want to stay here."