A Ghost of Snow

18. In Love

Baixue kept walking until she had reached the spot where Master Wei had been an hour or so before. She was aware that the Clan Leader had followed her so she spoke without bothering to look at him, "You must be wondering why we are here, aren't you?" She sat at the same spot where Wei Wuxian had lost consciousness and motioned for Lan Xichen to sit beside her, which he did.

Lan Xichen's eyes never left her though, he kept looking at her following her every move. He noticed how she had touched the spot and paused for a moment before taking a seat. "Zewu-Jun, You must think that I am very selfish, forcing Master Wei to free me of this bond." Lan Xichen wanted to deny this absurd accusation, he didn't think of her as selfish, he didn't think anything of her except that she was beautiful and he wanted to keep her safe and protected, only to himself. He wanted het to have her freedom as much as she wanted it, if not more. But he didn't get to voice his opinion because the young lady didn't wait for his answer, she just continued, "I just don't want to be forced to do something against my will. If he was in danger, I would still protect him, even without being tied down by this accursed fate. Only a word of command from my master would have sufficed, there was no need to tie this shackle around my neck."

Lan Xichen listened to her earnestly, he wanted to understand what was going on inside her head. He had always thought of himself as someone who was good at understanding people and yet he was stumped before this young lady. Could she even be called a lady, she looked too young, not more than a teenager. Lan Xichen almost felt guilty about having any sort of feelings for her.

When she finally stopped speaking, he said in the softest tone, looking at a distance with a small smile plastered on his face, "Young Lady, trust me when I say this, I do not think of you as selfish. I certainly wouldn't want to be in your shoes. I would happily lay down my life if it meant my brother would be safe. But that is of my own free will, I wouldn't want to be forced to make that choice or otherwise."

Baixue looked at him with the same cold gaze, her expression never changing. Lan Xichen noticed that her ice blue eyes did in fact have a tinge of Young Master Wei's silver ones, her pale skin looked almost translucent under the sun, her silvery white hair that hung in loose in soft curls blew in the soft wind and he could feel his heart accelerating at the sight. He didn't want to ever look away, and he now knew clearly well that he was doomed, he was in love with this young girl who seemed indifferent to any of the worldly pleasures. But he wanted to know more about her, he wanted to know how she was raised and taught, if she had been shown kindness as a child, was her gaze always this cold or was there a time when she used to smile. He wanted to see her smile, he wanted to know if she had been loved enough while growing up. He wanted to know everything there was to her and yet the only thing that came out of his mouth was, "How do you know that Young Master Wei will wake up by tonight? Is there truly nothing wrong with him?"

Lan Xichen noticed that it had suddenly started snowing again and he was sure that her gaze had somehow gotten harder and colder, "I never said there is nothing wrong with him." He was about to question her further about Wei Wuxian but stopped when she looked back at him and said, "He'll be fine for now, I know because I can feel it. As for what is wrong with him, he clearly doesn't want people to know. I am no exception, I know something is amiss only because I can sense how weak his body is. Your healers were right, he is doing it all the time. Back at Qiongqi Road, when I touched him, all I reached was a pool of resentment and nothing else. I am sorry but I do not know what has happened to him."

Lan Xichen knew that she was troubled, if the falling snow was an indicator, he wasn't sure. However, one thing that he was sure of was that he felt guilty for asking such a question, he wasn't heartless, he understood that Wei Wuxian might not be the most comfortable topic for her to talk about, so he spoke in the softest tone possible, "I apologise."

He infered from the abrupt lift in the temperature and snow that his apology might have been accepted. "Zewu-Jun, when all of this is over and I am free, would you like to be my master? I struggle keeping my emotions in control and it often results in what happened a few moments ago. I understand if you don't want to."

Lan Xichen looked at her in disbelief, why would he decline, it was a chance to be close to her. Even if he was her teacher, he would get to see her all the time.

"I agree.", He smiled and tried to sound a little less excited than he really was. In return he only received a curt nod from his future disciple.

Unbeknownst to him, her heart was also beating wildly in her chest. The only difference between them was that he could easily identify his emotions and put a name on them but she couldn't.