Let Me Speak

The Pursuit of Salam

I struggle to find my words on this planet Earth
Not because I am afraid of speaking
But because I am afraid of forgetting how to speak

I seek an impending force
I seek the truth from a maze of illusions and disparities
And I want to project my voice across the seven seas

To let the whole world know that
I can't breathe
Because I cannot live knowing that there are people who look down upon those who have darker skin tones than themselves
And that human beings are labeled under a misinformed stereotype that sets them under a metaphorical caste
As dictated by the world's people

To bleed for my homeland
And dream for the day when I won't have to wake up
only to be reminded that I don't have a home that I can trace the limbs of my obstructed roots to
And that the people who live in the same villages and cities that I call my homeland
must fear for their lives from the constant callings of death
Falasteen

To be able to call myself an individual
Without having to fear for my subconscious telling my disrupted mind that it's not okay to be constantly reminded of my self image and what other people think of me
And how I think
And how I look
And how I see

That I cannot walk on a street
Without receiving sidelong glances
And nervous shifts away from my premises
Knowing that they're questioning whether I'm hiding a bomb in my school book bag
Or
planning on committing an act of terror in the middle of a public park
Because my religion is portrayed against being a religion of peace
And that I feel more uncomfortable than those who look at me in such a way
Because I know that the media will never let me explain
How wrong they are
Because I believe in a religion
That was created before bombs and guns and planes and skyscrapers and social media that rained as acid
onto the once-healthy soil of the earth

To be able to believe in myself without having to rely on this concept that we call feminism
And to look upon the dispute between whether I am oppressed or if I proclaim an extraneous amount of freedom
And that it is okay to follow my dreams instead of having to conform to the standards that obstruct the values of my culture

To be able to take my siblings to school without having to be constantly reminded of the children around the world who must risk losing their lives to attain an academic degree of knowledge
Because they choose to seek a place to learn while accepting what bittersweet and unpredictable fate they face
For...
An education they receive is richer than that of a thousand wealthy men

And because
At the end of the thread of my cloaked covering
that I call my protection from the harsh shards of constant and belittling oppositions of mind straggling words
I refuse to deny that the world is a beautiful place
And that every human being alive can be capable of seeing a tranquil perspective at a certain point in this short life

For...
I am in the pursuit of Salam
I am in the pursuit of Peace