The Pompous and The Prick

Chapter 24: Sticky Situation

(If the art didn't appear on your screen, it will be on the pinned post on my Tumblr account @viktheviking1 for the foreseeable future.)

"You look fine!" Loona shouted. Blitz was scampering from one room to the next, tossing rejected clothes to the side. Loona followed close behind him, catching most of the discarded garments. The pile in her arms was growing at an alarming rate.

"Fine isn't good enough!" Blitz hopped towards the bathroom as he tried to put some skinny jeans on, "Do you know the last time I went on a real date? Not a set up date, a real date."

Loona rolled her eyes, "Like two weeks ago?"

"Wrong!" Blitz started shoveling his way through the cabinet under the sink, shoving Loona's large makeup stash to the side, trying to gain access to his own, "That was a booty call, and it didn't even work out! He had gonorrhea and refused to wear protection."

"I really didn't need to hear that." Loona said, as she watched Blitz try to get a good wing with eyeliner that had definitely expired.

"And she had a third n*pple. Which I was just going to make a joke about and move on but then she asks me if I like it, saying that it was expensive. She gave herself a third n*pple on purpose! " He said, struggling to match the wing on the other side.

"Okay, I really didn't want to hear that." Loona couldn't wipe the image from her mind.

"Ahh! How did I not see that!? This shirt is stained, now I have to start over!" He shouted, crawling past her to get back to his pile of laundry, throwing the rejects again, "Point is, I haven't had a real, emotions-included date in years."

Loona caught the clothes he threw, "Wait . . . Emotions included? You can't be serious."

"As serious as that guy's case of gonorrhea!" He gave up on the laundry pile and began relooking through the pile in her arms.

"Stop bringing that up!" Loona gave up trying to catch any of the clothes, and watched as they landed on the TV, in the walkway, and in the kitchen sink, "And are you sure you're ready for that . . . ? I mean, just yesterday you were a mess over-"

"Over a case of beer, I know." He sighed, holding the last shirt from the pile, and sat on the couch, "Look sweetie, I met a nice guy online and we've been talking for weeks now. He has a kid too, he laughs at my jokes, we watch the same shows, and . . . I don't know, he gets me."

"That explains why you've been giggling like a school girl at your phone constantly. Wait, did you say weeks? And you haven't met up yet? Is he hiding something?" Loona sat down next to him, her weight sinking her side down, causing him to bounce.

"No, well he was, but he told me. And then there was some stuff with his ex. And you know, I had st- . . . stuff going on so." He shrugged, "For a bit we thought we were just going to be friends but things just worked out." He paused, smiling, before catching himself and cleared his throat, "Anyway, I want to look nice, but everything is either dirty or not the vibe so uh . . ."

Loona just looked at him, surprised to see him giddy about a person other than her, then sighed, "Well, if you want you can raid my closet too."

His face lit up and his tail swished back and forth, "Really?"

"Yes, but you have to get permission before trying anything on. Because the moment you do, it'll rip holes in it and it will officially be your shirt."

"Cool!" He skittered away on all fours, and she was left unsure if he had actually heard her or not.

In the end, Blitz went with one of Loona's crop top sweatshirts, that was a full sweatshirt on him. He finished his winged eyeliner which mostly matched, and wore his usual black jeans and boots. Loona waved him off, still some concern on her face, but at least she had the house to herself.