How to be with you - Minsung

Chapter 26

Minho woke up nauseous.

Today was Hyunjin's birthday, and as much as he loved his best friend, spending an entire day being civil with Jisung was gut wrenching.

With the two last weeks of preparing for their comeback, the two have been bickering back and forth.

And it has gotten a bit overwhelming.

Arriving at Hyunjin's house, Minho hurried to gulp down a shot. He needed motivation for today.

Ironically, by doing that, he ended up right in front of Jisung, who seemed to have the exact same idea, gulping down his own drink.

"Jisung" He greeted with a nod.

"Minho" Jisung greeted back.

"I'M SO HAPPY YOU TWO CAME HERE" Hyunjin suddenly bolted in the kitchen, grabbing both of their shoulders and forcing them into a hug along with him.

Both of the boys didn't dare to comment on it, it was Hyunjin's birthday.

Sitting on the couch, Minho made his best to sit the most far from Jisung.

"Okay, drink if you spent too much getting ready for today" Hyunjin smiled, trying a game to soothe the weird ambiance.

Most of the boys drank.

"Drink if you didn't want to be here but came anyway" Seungmin joked, chuckling over Hyunjin's pout, and decided to not comment on both Minho and Jisung taking a sip.

"Um... drink if you're an idol" Minho said with a shrug, and the four idols present here groaned at that.

"Drink if you're a dancer" Felix smiled brightly, before gladly taking a sip, while Minho gave a slap on his forehead.

"Drink if you had sex the last two weeks" Changbin stated, proudly taking a sip.

Jisung narrowed his eyes at Minho.

"Didn't you go back home with Hwa ?" Chan asked as he pointed at Minho, while Jisung thanked him in his mind.

Minho blinked.

"No sex was involved in that" He only responded "Next question ?"

Was he about to comment on how he tried to have sex with Seonghwa but ended up crying like a kid in his bed at the thought of Jisung and went back frustrated shameful and sad ? No.

More games were played, more Hyunjin's laugh resonated in the room, and the evening slightly turned better as alcohol flooded into their system.

Or maybe it made it worse.

Sitting at the table to eat dinner, Hyunjin had placed Minho in front of Jisung, on purpose.

And Minho was feeling awfully childish today.

"Lix, can we switch places?" He asked, and didn't fail to notice the pain flashing through Jisung's expression.

"Nah nah nah, today is MY birthday, and my two lovely friends are going to sit in front of each other, and act CIVIL, right ?" Hyunjin said excitedly, but noticed the scowl on both of their face.

"I can do that" Jisung scoffed

"What does that supposed to mean" Minho narrowed his eyes "That I can't ?"

"No, Minho, you can't" Jisung muttered

"You're right, I can't act civil in front of you" He rolled his eyes.

"Come on Minho, I've been nothing but trying since you're back" Jisung exploded

"Right" He scoffed

"Do the blind eye if you want to" Jisung shook his head, but didn't noticed the painful look Minho gave him.

"And where were you when I needed you ?!" Minho ended up imploding, raising his voice at the younger, who was taken aback.

"I was trying to help you !" Jisung finally confessed

"It wasn't help that I needed!" He yelled, voice breaking "It was you Jisung"

"I couldn't ruin you more!"

"But you did! By leaving me alone you did!"

"You... You were the one breaking up Minho..."

"I only did because I thought we were going to fake it, and you know it"

"I wasn't able to think clearly at this moment Minho... I thought my dream was crushed !"

"And MY dream Jisung, did you think of it ?!" He said, now getting pissed "I agreed on getting shit on for your little dream while mine got taken away from me! How is that fair ?!"

"I didn't want that ! I tried to convince them to take you back ! I let them take all the money and all the energy they have for our careers just so you could be safe"

"Really ?! By posting tiktoks where you looked happier without me ?!"

"What ? Those tiktoks were filmed a long time ago and were posted only to make the public forget about my scandal"

"Is that all that was for you ?" He scoffed "A scandal ?"

"Fuck, of course not!" Jisung let his hand slam on the table "I almost fucking lost my career while fighting for you, you blind fucker. I spent hours negociating and yelling at the boss for the mistreatment you were receiving ! I got fucking beaten up for standing for you !" He yelled back, in complete trance.

"No Jisung, you fighted for what you think felt better for your consciousness" Minho retorqued, shaking his head in desbelief "I didn't spend a second without thinking of how I would have felt better if you were just rooting for me by MY fucking side" He yelled back "I didn't ask for anything you did! Even though I'm grateful, you can't hold it against me like it actually changed something from my point of view ! I'm sorry you had problems, I'm sorry you got hurt, but that was none of what I actually asked for! I only asked for YOU"

"I couldn't give you me! At this point, I may have realized I should have, but I was too terrified of ruining you more ! I was scared that by giving you what you needed, I'll lull you more into thinking you were doing good beside me!"

"But I WAS doing good beside YOU Jisung!" Minho yelled back, and at this point, tears were rolling down his cheeks "I could have spent YEARS under the shitstorm and the pain if it meant being BESIDE you! I let you chose your dream but I didn't have anything back ! YOU didn't give me anything back! Have you an idea of how betrayed I felt ? Of how painful it was to be thrown off the window like a puppet ? It may not have been like that, and I get it, but that's how I felt, and that broke me Jisung"

"Minho... Loving you may have been a better choice..." Jisung admitted, voice weaker at his own statement

"But loving you made me lose everything" Minho responded, voice breaking.

"I... I didn't want that"

"Me neither Jisung... me neither" He shook his head, standing up and pushing the chair "You were supposed to be the best... But you're the worst thing that has ever happened to me" He ended up stating, before leaving the table with no look back.

And Minho felt particularly selfish from destroying Hyunjin's birthday.