Love in paradise (Destiel)

Chapter 6

Castiel's POV
"I was surprised when Jimmy said you would be joining me, but I guess he was telling the truth. I thought you didn't like this sort of thing."

"Times change....people change. Shall we?" I said, gesturing to go into the spa. Sighing quietly, I reminded myself I was doing this for Jimmy. I can handle awkwardness with my ex girlfriend who will soon be my sister in law. Settling down in 2 chairs next to each other, I was grateful I didn't get the same technician as last time. I only went once here because Gabriel forced me to since I needed to stop being so stiff. It obviously didn't go well. This time was proving to be much better though.

"Sooo......I know this must be awkward, Cas, but I don't want us to be like this forever." Amelia said, making me look at her to see she seems genuine. While I don't love her like Jimmy does, I still care about her deeply.

"I don't want us to be awkward forever either. At least not too awkward. I'm afraid I'll always be awkward no matter what, but that has nothing to do with you." I told her as she smiled.

"I still feel bad for breaking things off between us when you must've been struggling with yourself. I don't mean to pry....but....when did you realize you were gay? Because I've had some gay and lesbian friends over the years and they went through straight relationships to try to "fix" themselves. Some of them knew when they were very young, but some didn't know till they started dating. But still...I...." She said, clearly feeling guilty about how things ended for us. So I decided to be honest with her.

"When I realized I didn't love you the same, that I felt like I couldn't, not genuinely at least.....I just thought something was wrong with me. I felt that same feeling when I realized Jimmy was able to love you in the way I couldn't. Like I was the broken twin. But then Dean helped me realize the truth." I started, Amelia listening hard to my words as the technicians doing our nails whispered to each other.

"I didn't know I was gay until a few days ago. I had my suspicions, my doubts, for years.....but they only solidified recently. Don't tell anyone, or at least no one except Jimmy, but my relationship with Dean started out as a joke. We pretended to be dating to make our exes jealous. Dean's ex is the bartender at the pool by the way."

"It started as just pretend? So.....what happened?"

"Things got more serious and they crashed and burned. We got into a fight since Dean said things will be easier when we go back to just being friends. I got mad at him since it felt like he played with my emotions and I let him. When we spent time apart, that's when I really thought everything over. That's when I realized I've been in love with my best friend for years. Don't get me wrong, I had a bit of a crush on you when we started dating.....but it just never progressed from that. I never meant to lead you on, I swear-"

"It's not leading someone on if it's not on purpose. It's ok. I'm just glad we both found someone to be happy with. Dean does make you happy, right?" She interrupted me, making me think of Dean and how he made me feel.

"Someone's getting red. Wonder why."

"Shut up. He makes me feel....things.....things I've never felt before. Things that I'm sorry I could never have with you."

"Things like what?" She asked, clearly teasing me.

"He makes me feel like a hormonal teenage boy. I wasn't even like this when I was a teenager. It's weird. I see him in boxers and I have to take a cold shower."

"Oh.....you have it bad. I'm sorry. It's good that there's more to it then just.....sex. Love is more important. I'm sure you'll figure the other stuff out." She said, winking to me. Sinking in my chair some more, the technician gave me a look that seemed to show she knew how I felt. Thank you?