Ineffable Family

Chapter 26

TW: PTSD, suicidal ideation in the context of a dream, depression

Broken Pieces by Apocalyptica ft Lacey Sturm

Prayer by Disturbed

Crowley is in a white room, on a white bed, wrists bound over her head. Her legs are spread apart and chained. She is completely exposed—as is her pregnant belly.

A hot knife of pain surges through her midsection, and she realizes her situation: she is in Heaven, and she is in labor.

"All we have to do is wait," Sandalphon says, standing near the cell door. "You can't hold it in forever."

"Please, don't do this. Plea--" She breaks off in a scream as another contractions strikes.

"I'll be glad when this is over," Michael remarked, sitting beside the bed. "The whole process is disgusting."

Crowley tries to clench her legs together, to close herself off, but the chains are too tight; she remains spread-eagled, with two archangels staring at her.

"Don't do this," she whimpers."It's an angel, she's an angel."

"Which mean it belongs with us,"Sandalphon pointed out.

"She'll need me, she'll need her mother."

"An angel, need a demon?" Michael scoffs. "Hardly."

The pressure in her pelvis grows. Crowley forces herself to be completely still. Maybe, if she doesn't move, doesn't strain, she can--

Her body betrays her. Suddenly, it is over—the pressure is gone and a baby is crying. Michael wraps the infant up in a blanket. "Look at all this goo—disgusting!"

"You have to cut that rope," Sandalphon reminds her.

"Not yet," Crowley pleads. "It's too soon...please, let me see her. Let me hold her."

But Michael cuts the umbilical cord and leaves with the baby.Crowley lays there, bleeding, and prays for death.

Aziraphale's voice and hands brought Crowley out of the dream. "Wake up! Crowley, sweetheart, can you hear me?"

"They have her!" she sobbed. "They took her! They have Hope!"

"No, darling, Hope is right here." Aziraphale pointed to the bassinet. "Safe and sound."

"Hope." Crowley reached for her with trembling hands. "Oh, Hope, Hope."

"I'll get her," Aziraphale said quickly. "You lie down."

He placed Hope gently on Crowley's chest. Crowley kissed her head, breathing in the scent of her curly hair. Slowly, she stopped shaking.

"There, you see?" Aziraphale sat beside them. "No one has her. No one is ever going to hurt her."

Crowley tried to slow her breathing, but didn't answer. She closed her eyes, concentrating on the warm weight of their daughter. All her millennia of nightmares hadn't prepared her for that horrific vision.

"Can you tell me about your dream?" Aziraphale asked.

"I was chained to a bed. Michael and Sandalphon were there, and when she was born they took her away."

Aziraphale was glad the darkness concealed his horrified expression. Dear God. How much more would his poor demon be forced to endure?

Hope made a soft sound and nuzzled against her mother's chest. She ignored Crowley's invitation to nurse, and instead curled up a little tighter. It seemed that she just wanted snuggles.