Juniper Blue (NaNoWriMo2023; manxman)

Chapter 19

Juniper

The start of rafting season was my favorite time of year. I met up with old friends and made new ones with all the new river guides. I remembered when I first became a guide and how scared I was during my first trip. We're responsible for a raft of eight people of various skill levels and ages. During my first trip, I fell out while everyone else remained in the raft. They were all freaking out because none of them had been rafting before. I hadn't even graduated high school yet.

But I got back in the raft and pretended I was neither embarrassed nor nervous.

I hadn't seen fellow river guide Emily since last summer. She was about to enter her senior year of college. She was the second person I'd ever slept with. We made better friends than lovers, although she was the one who said I had 'great oral skills.' Gabriel said that, too. She always pulled her long unruly red hair into a messy bun. I was usually one of the first guides at the basecamp in the morning, and she arrived shortly after I did, maybe hoping to catch up with me as we prepared the raft lunches.

"It's good to see you, Juni," she said as I gathered the cans of beans for the typical three-bean salad. A typical raft lunch consisted of three-bean salad, rice, and a choice of protein, which included chicken, steak, salmon, or veggie burgers. "How have you been?"

"I can't complain," I replied. "How 'bout you?"

"I'm good. I can't remember... How long have you been doing this again?"

"Making bean salad or rafting?"

"Both," she giggled.

"I've been rafting since I was eight and a river guide since I was eighteen."

"That's a long time. Are you working at the Inn again this summer?"

"I might help out every now and then, but that's about it." With Gabriel in my life now, I wanted to save time for him, as long as he saved time for me.

"I was wondering if you'd like to get a drink later," she said. "Maybe we could catch up."

I stopped mixing the salad and turned to her because she didn't just want to 'catch up.' She was cute and a lot of fun, but she seemed to have forgotten why we ended our friends-with-benefits relationship. I didn't like her as much as she liked me. I didn't understand why at the time. When she suggested a drink, she was really asking for a hook up.

"I can't hook up with you," I said. "We ended it for a reason. Besides, I'm involved with someone and we're not into that ethically non-monogamous thing or poly or whatever it's called. I like monogamy."

"You're so boring sometimes. What's her name?" she asked as I resumed stirring the salad. She retrieved some tomatoes from the refrigerator.

"Gabriel," I said. I didn't mind disclosing his name because it was only a matter of time before everyone found out about him.

"Oh, shit," she laughed. "Were you gay when we fooled around? Or maybe you're not gay and—"

"I'm gay," I interrupted her. "Are you disappointed? Surprised?"

"I'm a little bit of both. I was looking forward to having fun with you. It's still good to see you. I bet you're a good boyfriend. He's lucky, and I mean that."

"I feel pretty lucky, too."

After I let Emily down, she connected with a new river guide, Jon, a sophomore in college and probably a better fit for her. It only took her a few rafting trips to build a connection.

In Maine, you don't have to be a trained river guide to go rafting. Anybody can go as long as you register the craft (i.e. boat or raft) prior to launching. Gabriel was always up for a white-water rafting adventure as long as I was with him. He said he'd never do it on his own or with anyone else who wasn't a trained guide.