Juniper Blue (NaNoWriMo2023; manxman)

Chapter 18

Gabriel

In college, my room was a revolving door of men. I was so busy with men, my first roommate couldn't stand living with me and requested a room change. My next roommate barely said a word and spent most of his time in the library. I had another roommate who was so homophobic I was the one who requested a room change. Because I didn't want to make a big stink about it, I didn't specify the exact reasons why I wanted the change. By my junior year of college, I'd moved out of the dorms. I fell madly in love with my philosophy professor, Mark Savard until I discovered he was married with three kids.

When I was Juniper's age, I'd just finished medical school and was about to enter my first year as a resident. I thought I was in a committed relationship with Kevin Cunha until he suggested a threesome with himself and his other boyfriend. I found out he didn't just have one other boyfriend, but three others. I believed in monogamy and wasn't a polyamorous type of guy. If I loved someone, I couldn't fathom sharing that person with anyone else.

Dennis Cormier nearly bankrupted me. At the time, he broke my heart when he disappeared, ghosting me when ghosting was first a thing. In retrospect, his ghosting prevented me from truly going bankrupt.

It'd been a year since Cole was sentenced to prison for seven years, a month before he was found dead in his cell. As I've said a million times before, Juniper was unique and unlike any other man I'd ever dated. Our relationship had gotten serious, and to the point where I considered permanently moving in with him. My only hesitation was his father and the fact his father owned the cabin where Juniper lived. I would have preferred to either rent my own place or buy a house. Mr. Doiron made it sound like he didn't care if I lived there, just as long as I paid rent, but it still didn't feel quite right. I was a thirty-five year old man and physician, not a recent college graduate.

I'd never missed a Passover Seder with my family. The first two nights were the most important. I made it for the first one. Before I left for New York, Juniper asked me if he could come with me "because I've never been to a Seder," he said. I was only in town for a night, so I didn't feel like it would be the right time to introduce Juniper. Besides, I wasn't sure how my mother was doing. Whenever I spoke with my father, he never painted an accurate picture. Within the past six months, my mother stopped being the overbearing Jewish mother. I kind of missed hearing from her multiple times a day. I never thought I'd miss the nagging.

Since last autumn, my mother lost at least fifty pounds. She had been overweight, but the loss still concerned me. A lot of things concerned me, but I did nothing about it. She had Parkinson's disease and that would never change unless there was a miraculous cure. Aunt Ruth waited until the very end of the meal to let me know how she really felt.

"I wish you'd come home," she said. "What's so great about Maine, anyway? Your family needs you here."

"Oh, stop it, Ruth," my mother said. "He's got himself a girl. He's happy. Let him be happy." My parents were under the impression I was seeing a woman named Juniper and I never said anything to clarify that Juniper was, in fact, a man.

"Thanks, Ma," I said. "I am happy."

"You're not planning on having children, are you?" Aunt Ruth said.

"Stop it, Ruth. This doesn't pertain to you," my father said.

"The topic has never come up," I said.

Aunt Ruth shook her head, gathering up the dirty dishes. "I'm gonna take a walk," she said. "I just have to say one thing, Gabriel. If Juniper is so important to you, then bring her here. Your parents need you, Gabriel. There's just so much I can do to help. Your father will never ask you for help."