Princess; George Weasley

thirty-eight

I open the door to my room, thankful the Slytherin and Hufflepuff dorms are close to each other. The common room was busy, but I think everyone was too occupied with themselves to see me scurry past.

Eve groans, not looking up from the desk she's tidying. "For the last time, Rosa, if you aren't going to clean then we don't want you here!"

"Claudia?" Layla says, looking bewildered. I feel frozen in the doorway. I genuinely forgot the two of them would probably be in here, cleaning per usual. Something about the thought would bring a smile to my face if the situation wasn't what it was. Eve drops the stack of papers she's holding at the sound of my name. Her face seems to change expressions at least four times before she finally takes a step towards the door.

"He didn't—"

I swallow, trying to muster up the strength to repeat what happened. It all feels like a dream. The past month or two I've been close to Adrian all doesn't feel real. "He did."

Before I can process what I just said, I feel Layla's arms wrap around me in a steady hug. She pulls away, and I can see Eve equally as frozen as I am. I can't even imagine to think about what she's feeling. I didn't listen to her and found myself in a bad situation with Adrian twice now. No matter her warnings, I ignored her, and she has every right to be upset. At the same time she probably feels stuck between helping someone she cares about and sticking up for what she believes in.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, "and I'm sorry if being sorry isn't enough."

She shakes her head, sitting in the desk she was standing next to. It feels like hours have passed, although the numbers on the alarm clock on my nightstand haven't shifted. I wish I had more to say. We've been in a dance of avoiding each other's gaze in classes or in the halls. We haven't been in the room at the same time, and when we are one's pretending we're asleep, even though both of us know that's not the case.

"Are you okay?" She asks, her glance darting from my cheek back to my eyes.

I want to laugh at the question. I shouldn't be okay. I'm not okay. Even though this is the case I can't help but wondering if maybe I am alright. Everything happens for a reason, my grandmother used to say. I might not have gotten to walk away if tonight hadn't happened the way it had. I'm not happy that Adrian did what he did in the slightest. I wish, and I know I always will wish I wouldn't have had to go through it, but because I did, how do I feel now? Angry certainly,   upset, of course, but can I also be relieved that it wasn't worse?

"I should've listened. I'm sorry," I repeat.

She laughs, which confuses me even more. "I'm sure you know that now."

"You were right. I was so ignorant to think that what Adrian said about you was true. I should've known. I'm—"

"Dia," she says, and the sound of a nickname coming from her is almost enough to take the weight off of my chest. "You don't have to apologize to me. I was there. I've been told he was trouble just to fall for his confusing charm, which frankly are manipulative," she explains, "I avoided you because I was hurt. I was hurt you didn't listen to me, but now I realize I didn't give you a real reason to. I was just like the girls who simply warned me instead of supporting me through the entire thing. I needed a voice of reason whenever I felt doubtful with him, and I bet you did too. I'm sorry."

I feel a tear roll down my face, and I feel it brush over my tender skin. It aches, but I hurt more for the time Eve and I wasted being in an argument. Regardless, part of me can't let go what she said in Hogsmede. I open my mouth to say something, but I can't quite form the words. I try again.

"You know what you said really fucked me up, right?" I ask, my voice still quiet, "I can't do anything without thinking if maybe I'm just doing it because my dad wouldn't want me to."