you're on your own, kid

Chapter 14 - Conversations at Lake Geneva

We had the next Champions League game against Servette coming up, and even though I was back living with Lena, things were different. They didn't flow like they once did, and despite all my will, and effort, I wasn't in the apartment much. In order to lock down all my feelings, I found old (or maybe current) habits never truly die hard.

"Do you have to go?" he said to me, as I started to get out of the bed.

"Yes," I answered, coldly.

"You were so much more fun last night." I looked at him, giving the man in the bed a glare before grabbing my bag. I changed in the kitchen, as I used his toaster, without asking. I had to get something in my stomach before training. The piece of toast, with only butter, was bland but it would have to do.

"Do you have any salt?" I called out. I heard his footsteps start to come closer, and he was standing in the doorframe.

"What are you wearing?"

"My kit," I answered, realizing I was about to falter under my cover.

"You play for Wolfsburg?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I had never heard of a Milicent before on the Wolfsburg team?" That was the name I had given to him last night. Milicent.

"Have you heard of any of the names on the team?" I asked, trying to avoid the question.

"Alex Popp," he replied. "Lena Oberdorf." I paused at her name. Whenever I heard those two words, something shuddered in me.

"Well, surprise. You slept with a footballer. Do you have salt?" He laughed as I spoke, coming into the kitchen and handing me the salt shaker. I lathered the toast and cringed as I ate it. He questioned my breakfast choice, before walking back into the bedroom.

I soon made my way out of the apartment as quickly as I had come in and almost flew down the stairs. I had to make it in time for training, and as usual, I was running late. With Lena, I was always on time. She never let me be anywhere late. But without her, I was already going to be 15 minutes behind schedule.

I grabbed an Uber, which took me straight to the training ground. I almost ran into our changing room, as most of the girls were starting to head out. Jill came over to me, patting my back.

"You alright?" she asked. I nodded, desperately, as I rummaged around my locker looking for my boots. "Do you have boots?" she then asked.

"No." I felt like a child, needing to be saved by my older sister. She sighed, softly, but not with any malice, rather sorry, and then passed me a spare pair she had in her locker.

"You can't get any pictures with them on," Jill then laughed. "Remember these are Nike. You're sponsored by Adidas." I chuckled a soft grin as she ran out onto the pitch. I soon followed behind, wearing the extra boots after I hadn't brought any myself.

I saw her on the pitch, as we all warmed up. Her hair was tied up, and her face painted with a smile. After all that had happened, over the past few weeks, I still couldn't get her out of my head. She was encapsulated in my mind. It was as if I couldn't think of anything else except her.

"What are you thinking about?" Lynn asked, as my eyes were staring at Lena across the pitch.

"Nothing," I said, as Lynn exited me from my trance.

"You're so stupid," she then said.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I exclaimed, falling to the ground, my face planted against the grass. Lynn laughed at me, as more footsteps came over.