42 - Should I or Shouldn't I?

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Hannah could barely contain her enthusiasm over being offered the job at the club. She sat at the kitchen table with her parents and gave them all the details. "The compensation is only about eighty percent of what I made at my previous job, but it's enough to keep us all afloat."

She rested a hand on her father's forearm. "Dad, you won't have to worry if you can't find work right away after the plant closes."

Despite his previous assurances that there would be no problem, he appeared relieved. "Thank you."

Hannah saved what she thought was the best for last. "As an added perk, because of my status as a department manager, all of us now enjoy free club membership."

Her mother wore a sad smile. "That's wonderful for you and your father, but with my arthritis, I won't be playing golf or tennis."

"True, but you can take advantage of the club's indoor heated swimming pool. It's exactly the therapy you need."

Her mother smiled at that bit of news. "When do you start?"

"It's only fair I give the sports bar two weeks notice, especially since they've been so good to me. My new boss at the club agreed and has no problem with my doing so." What she didn't say, and what made her anxiety level spike was her start date was just a week before the summer social. She wished she could've come up with a good reason to put it off until afterwards.

Hannah retreated to the bedroom to get ready for her nightshift at the bar. Sitting on the side of her bed, she pulled up Cliff's text and reread it.

Thinking about you. How goes the job search?

Judge Cox had made it clear to her during the interview that nobody had pressured the board to consider her for the position. So, the timing of Cliff's text had been a coincidence.

It had been five hours since he texted her. Should she text him back?

She missed him more than she imagined she would. The ache inside while thinking about him had been as sharp as when James ended things with her. "Admit it, Hannah," she mumbled to herself. "You miss him more than you miss James."

Analyzing why, Hannah figured it was because Cliff cared for her more than James ever did. Cliff had worked hard to win her affection and didn't take her for granted. James had used her for years, stringing her along, while Cliff had been patient, taking things slow and respecting her boundaries.

She hadn't listened to her instinct about James. On the flip side, her instinct about Cliff was telling her she had been a fool for not giving him more of a chance, despite his mother.

If she answered his text; if she made some carefully worded overture, would he ask to see her again? Is that what she wanted?

Yes! Except it wouldn't change anything. His mother would still have it out for her. Cliff's future still hung in the balance. She still might end up hurt if it came down to a choice between her and Cliff's family.

If she answered his text, she would eventually need to tell him about her new job.

She groaned and buried her face in her hands. Mr. Cento told her she had to attend the summer social as part of her job, to mingle with the guests. She would inevitably bump into Cliff and his family members which would make things so freaking awkward.

That's why she needed to text him back to tell him, so neither of them would be blindsided.

Except...except...

Now that they were no longer dating, what if Cliff had asked someone else to go with him to the social? Of course, he wouldn't go alone. Would he ask that Kayla woman? How would it make her feel seeing Cliff with someone else?

"Awful," she mumbled.

She re-read his text again for probably the hundredth time.

She started typing a message: I think of you too.

Was she ready to admit that? Would it make her look like a tease, ditching him and then encouraging him? Erasing what she had typed, she tried thinking of a way to acknowledge his text without sounding overly eager. What if she let him know about her new job? Cliff would anticipate seeing her, but it might make him feel uneasy if he actually had invited someone else.

How could she envision any situation where the two of them could get back together again?

Well, his mother could die. She held a hand to her mouth realizing how terrible a thought that had been. Karma might strike down her own mother for thinking that way.

Would Cliff continue to fight for her? His text had been an overture, but would he try harder? Cliff had character, and he would respect her decision to break things off. He would let her go thinking it's what she wanted.

Hannah sighed and put away her phone without answering his text. She had screwed up. She had made a big mistake. Now, she just had to suck it up and live with the consequences.

 Now, she just had to suck it up and live with the consequences

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Ah, the dating game can be so difficult.

Top Photo Credit: Pexels/Leeloo Thefirst

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