From Strippers To Hookers

Introduction

A good friend of mine kept trying to convince me to write about my curiosity on my own gender.

Sexually.

For a long time, I didn't understand why.

For me, I was doing it to test out whether to see how interested I was in women compared to men.

I didn't think it was a story to tell.

Then, I watched the film Hustlers for the second time. 

When the opening of the film just started, and Constance Wu's character begins to go on stage, I immediately thought, "Wonder if there's ever been a true story of where a girl is the customer and has the addiction to women". 

Considering this is a true story based on strippers in strip clubs. I came to the realisation, "Hey, I could write my own experiences and my own reasons why I didn't just spend hundreds. No, I spent THOUSANDS of dollars for women's attention. "

I am not proud of the amount of money I have spent on getting women's attention. But, it happened.

I am a woman, I went to strips clubs as a CUSTOMER, to be aroused by mainly 3 women.

Emphasise the word WOMAN, and probably the other word being THOUSANDS of dollars.

My name is Jordan, I am of Filipino, Chinese, and Spanish heritage, and not a lesbian. No, I'm bisexual.

I had an addiction to strip clubs for about 5 years. The addiction then moved on (luckily for a short time) going to a brothel. Finally, I found my happiness in an incredible partner.

I spent a LOT of money over these years for girl's attention, and I had my reasons behind them.

I'll never forget watching a scene from a movie. Usher, the singer, was cast in, in the Mix.

In the scene, Usher must accompany a family friend to lunch with her girlfriends. But he is told to have his lunch at the bar, while she spends time with her girlfriends. As she is having lunch with her girlfriends, they are discussing boyfriend problems. A friend notices Usher and invites him to the table to get a male perspective. Within moments of sitting down, Usher is asked for advice on boyfriends. 

1 of the problems was that a boyfriend told his girlfriend he was going to his mother's house. 

Really, he went to a strip club.

Which Usher says before the girl finishes her sentence.

Another girl questions, "How did you know that?"

He explains that it's like girls going to Spas, men go there to relax.

Another girl comments, "Relax? With some women's boobs bouncing around in your face?"

A lot of girls may wonder how this is relaxing.

I'm not the sort of girl who enjoys getting my nails done, facials, nor am I a fan of massages.

I find getting my nails done painful with my skin getting pushed and pulled around. I'm also not the most patient person when it comes to waiting for my nails to dry once they are painted. I'm not a fan of massages. I am not a fan of being touched. The only time I will get massages is if I'm in muscular pain. Which is a bit ironic with strip clubs. I guess you can say I am picky with people who touch me.

However, I have always been fond of my own gender. For as long as I can remember, I've always found women to be beautiful.

I'm not sure where my curiosity of strip clubs began, although.

Whether it came from watching a scene from a movie called Pay It Forward. The mother working 2 jobs, 1 of them being a topless waitress in a bar ( from what I could research).

In the scene, she brings male customers their drinks, and they try to get her to have a drink with them. But she has to refuse because of a promise she made to her kid. Just before she walks away, 1 of the guys decides to tip her.

But he doesn't make it easy.

He teases her 1st with the bill in his fingers, leaning back into his seat as she tries to get the money out of his hand. She then slowly sits on 1 of his legs facing him, and then her hand runs from his shoulder to his hand. Once she gets the money, they make eye contact, looking at each other with intensity, where they could almost kiss. He then asks whilst she is still sitting on his lap, "What time do you get off?". Her response was, "If only I weren't married."

When I saw this scene, I could see how the female body can be beautiful and seductive.

In that scene, it was like a temptation of how far it could really go with 2 people (technically characters, but they are people). The sexual tension of being so close. But not getting that far. 

When I turned 12, my family moved to Sydney, Australia, from Hong Kong. We happened to move to the city area, where there happens to be a lot of adult shops.

When I would make my way home from school, I would have to pass the shops. At the time, because of the name of the shops and being only 12, I thought they were strip clubs.

I would mentally question, "Wonder if they would let me in if I had a brother in there, I would have to get the house keys from?"

Even though I have 3 older brothers, the eldest was studying in America at the time. The other 2 were still living at home, and only a 4 and a 6 year age gap between myself and them. My 2 brothers who were still at home at the time. 1 was 16, and the other was 18. 18 years is the legal age to go out in Australia. But he is also not that kind of guy.

Even though this dream was impossible, I was underage.

I would picture myself going into the strip club, tapping my brother on the shoulder, saying, "Hey, keys," and him putting them in my hand as he would watch the girls on the poles.

The girls walking past me half naked and acknowledging my presence. While I would smile back and appreciate their beauty.

It's impossible, I know.

But it didn't hurt to wonder.

Again, I was 12.

I don't know if I was curious because I'm attracted to the same sex. Or if I was curious because it's something that was so taboo.

Since I am the baby girl with older brothers in the home, people say that it's a 50/50 chance to either become a tomboy or girlly girl.

In my case, not only was I a tomboy acting like one and dressing like one. I  am also attracted to the same sex.

I still remember that I wanted to be my brother's so bad that I would even try copying the way they would sit in the car.

At least, mum didn't need to worry about me complaining about hand-me-downs.

For a long time, I felt like a boy stuck in a girl's body.