Changed my mind (Harry Styles fanfiction)

Chapter 7

When we got home we told our parents that Jessie’s phone had died and that she couldn’t reach them. My parents didn’t seem to believe it but they didn’t ask more questions and we both went to bed. I was really tired. I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but for some reason it was impossible. My thoughts were ruining a good night’s sleep. My mum would start another chemotherapy cure on Monday and I knew it would be hard. Every time she had one it became worse, she became sicker with every cure and I couldn’t stand it. I just wanted her to get better, but the chemotherapy only made her look more ill. I hated it. It was unfair. My mum was the strongest woman I know and I didn’t understand how the chemotherapy made her this ill. I was thinking about what I told Jessie and I had to admit that I wasn’t sure if I believed what I said. What if she didn’t get better? What if mum wasn’t going to make it? I felt something warm and wet slip out of the corner of my eye. Was I crying? I think I was because every time I blinked only more water filled my eyes. I didn’t even bother to wipe the tears away. Maybe I just needed to cry a bit. I grabbed my pillow for comfort. I always grabbed my pillow if I felt alone or something. It calmed me down. Not today though, the tears didn’t stop. I was crying because of my mum and because of Jessie and because of my parents’ ignorance. I wondered if they didn’t see what was happening to Jessie or if they just didn’t want to see it. I was trying to calm myself down but I wasn’t succeeding. I needed to talk to someone. Someone I trust. I needed to call Harry. So I did. In the middle of the night.

I let the phone ring like a dozen times before I hung up. More tears. They just didn’t stop flowing. I was trying to cry silent, because I didn’t want my parents to get worried, but I was making whimpering sounds anyway.  Just when I wanted to take my phone and call Harry again, the screen lit up. He was calling me.

“Harry!” I tried to say, but he probably couldn’t understand me because I was still crying.

“Emma? Are you all right?” He sounded worried.

“I don’t know,” I said, wiping away my tears.

“Em, what’s going on? Why did you call?”

“I – I-” I had no idea what to say. How did I explain everything that was going on in my mind right now? I couldn’t. There was too much chaos in my head at this moment.

“Emma? What’s it? You can tell me,” Harry said, sounding very concerned. I swallowed.

“I found Jessie in on a park bench tonight. She was unconscious because she drank an entire bottle of vodka.” I couldn’t say more because I almost choked on my tears.

“What? Why did she do that? Where is she now?”

“Because of what’s happening with mum and then she had a fight with Logan but that’s not important but then I had to talk to her and she’s so scared that mum is going to die and I told her she isn’t but what if she is and I don’t know what to do anymore?” And I started crying even more. I don’t think you could still say crying though, it was more like wailing.

“Emma, take a deep breath. Your mother is strong and she’s not planning on dying, so she’s going to make sure she won’t . Do you hear me?” Harry’s voice was comforting, but I couldn’t believe him for some reason. I mumbled a yes and he went on.

“Look, Emma, please be honest right now? I can go straight home now and be there tomorrow if you want.  Shall I do it?”

“Don’t you have an interview tomorrow or something?” I was sure he had, I can’t remember what it was for, but he had to do something tomorrow.

“Uhm yeah, but it’s not that important, the boys can do it without me. Do you want me to come?” He asked again. I wanted him to come. I wanted him right here with me. I wanted to bury my head in his chest while he whispers soothing words in my ear. But that would be selfish and I knew I couldn’t ask him that. He had to do that interview and I would see him next Saturday anyway.