THE AUTHOR (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 18 - DARK SECRET

I swallowed deeply as Jesus opened the book and instantly a blinding light surrounded us. Soon, films came out of the book like a movie and scenes from the moment I was born began to roll around us. I saw my mother carrying me in her arms when I was a baby, even the moment when my father taught me how to walk, then my first birthday. It was nostalgic to actually see my past and also hear what my parents thought about me when I was young. I even witnessed my father bragging on how I looked exactly like him. I couldn’t even remember most of it since I was very young at the time, but being able to witness all of it made me feel privileged!

        My whole life continued to play in fast forward until it slowed down to the day I was seven. I instantly felt my cheeks warm up when the next scene that was played was of me stealing a hundred peso from my mother's purse. If I could recall, I couldn't find my mother at that time and I wanted to buy something and when I saw her purse at her room I took a hundred peso instead and I never sought for my mother's permission for that. I was ashamed and so I looked down as I was unable to look Jesus in the eyes, whom I'm guessing wasn’t happy at all. I was hoping the scene had finished but when I lifted my head slightly the scene had paused on where I was taking the money from my mother's purse.

        My eyes widened in surprise "Why did it stop?" I gazed to my left and right.

        "Jake, like I told you, we will talk about your sins." Jesus said, his tone serious.

        "So why start with me stealing just a small amount? It's just small right? I didn't steal a million." I tried to defend my shame.

        "Jake a sin is a sin. Stealing a peso and a million is still stealing. It doesn't matter how ‘little’ you might have stolen but it is the act itself that counts." Jesus replied.

        "Then are you telling me that I'm a thief?" I know I sounded like a child but I just couldn't understand the fact that Jesus accused me as if I was a big sinner.

        "Yes, you are." I stared at Jesus and he didn't flinch. He really was serious.

        "But-"

        "Jake it is wrong to say that only those who steal large amounts are thieves yet if you only steal a small amount then you're not? Man thinks that as long as they don't mess up big time they are not sinning. They think that as long as you don't end up in prison or become a murderer then you are not going to Hell but that is all wrong Jake. A man goes to Hell because of sin regardless of whether how big or small it is." I didn't want to believe that what Jesus was telling me was true. Who would want to be treated at the same level as thieves and murderers? I wouldn't but when I took a second look at the scene, I felt ashamed. I shook my head as I still believed that I was not a bad person like what Jesus was telling me right now but then the scene continued to roll again but this time it kept playing all the bad things I had done in the past. Seriously? I tried to hold my composure as another scene showed how I lied to my father. Everybody does that, I told myself but then it kept playing the times that I lied even more. I then began to feel coldness seep through my veins as I started to lose count of how many times I lied. If there was something that I learned from myself right now was realizing that I was actually a liar but refused to admit it.

        The scenes kept rolling and rolling. I was still able to feel good about myself during my earlier years but when the scenes focused on my adult years, I started to feel weak, like my knees were carrying a big burden. The sins I was able to witness were not simple ones already. I witnessed shameful activities that I committed and it was even more shameful knowing that Jesus was watching every single one of them with me. This time I couldn't find any way to defend myself from not being a sinner because all the evidence Jesus had was presented right in front of us. I remained silent as it continued to play everything but when I couldn't take it any longer I gathered up my strength and although I closed my eyes I shouted, "Can we please stop it?" I didn't hear any reply from Jesus, instead all I saw was the scene freeze. However, fear overpowered me when I noticed where it actually stopped. I was at a cafe and in front of me was a guy in leather jacket. I glanced at Jesus and his face was concerned.