Self Esteem (Howl x Gender Neutral Reader)

Concoctions for Happiness

~Your POV~ (Help kitty assistant requires so much loves I cant write)

I watched as Howl and Calcifer made a gooey yellow stew, unsure of what it was for. Howl sprinkled in a bit more of the yellow powdered raven feathers, then jumped back as it spit up a dark yellow smoke. 

"Hah! We did it Calcifer!" He shouted. 

I looked, and the once bright yellow stew-like substance was now a light cream color. 

"What's it for, Howl?" I asked.

"I've decided to go blond again, it's just hair dye." He laughed and flicked a piece of his dark hair back from his shoulder.

"Hm? You've never mentioned wanting to go blond again. Besides, I quite like your darker hair."

"I... haven't quite felt like myself since my hair went darker. Not quite as happy as I was then, I suppose," he sighed, " I suppose I didn't want to disappoint you by changing it so soon."

I would've gone to give him a hug, but he was holding a cauldron of warm hair dye, so I thought better of it. Instead, I simply took his face in my hands, "If you weren't happy with it, you should've said something. I much value your feelings over my ideas, and if it makes you upset to have darker hair, then you have every right to change it. I would rather see you happy than with darker hair, or any change to your appearance, really."

"If you want, I can keep it dark, it won't be too terrible I suppose."

"I don't care what color your hair is. I just want to see you happy. If going blond is what makes you happy, then I fully support the decision."

"If you insist," he smiled, "Do you want to help me dye it then?"

"Of course, Howl."

(rrrraaaaauuugghh kiittyyyy assistant is not helpinggg)

I soon found myself kneeling outside the bathtub, helping Howl dye his hair blond as he knelt next to me, with his head under the faucet. 

 "Ah! That's cold, Y/N!" Howl shouted as I began to rinse the extra dye from his hair.

"Hah, sorry. Calcifer!" I shouted at him to warm the water a bit, "Now, how's that?"

"Much better, thank you darling."

Soon, Howl was back to his blond self. It was a bit strange to see him this way, after knowing him with dark hair for so long. Then, he smiled and fidgeted with the ends of his hair, and all unfamiliarity melted away. 

"How do I look, love?" He smiled widely.

"Stunning," I said as I ran my fingers through his hair, "Especially with that darling smile."

I gave him a kiss and watched his face blush.  

"Thank you, my love," he said quietly.

"It's so good to see you smile this way again," I spoke softly, "We've had a long day, let's head to bed, Howl."

"Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea."

Howl and I went to bed, and even though the day was long, it was quite a good one. I hoped there would be more days like this to come.

(hehe this chapter was so fun and cute to write :3)