The Not so Dark Hours (Tomarry)

CHAPTER 18

I stare out at the garden. Tom left me about half an hour to go, having to babysit the death eaters apparently.

"What are you thinking about pup?" I suddenly hear Remus' voice from behind and smile up at him.

"Nothing much Moony." I answer, looking back at the garden as he sits down beside me.

He tentatively wraps one arm around me and pulls me in to rest my head on his left shoulder. I relax into his grip, and so does he.

"You sure?" He questions softly and I hum.

"No. I'm not sure." I say. He gently subbed my shoulder and arm before prodding:

"Does this have anything to do with our resident ex-Dark-Lord?" And I chuckle.

I nod and he sighs, muttering something about young love. Then he starts telling his story.

"When I first noticed I liked Sirius I was in deep denial. I thought it was just the type of feelings one had for their very first best friend. From the very beginning he saw more in me than 'loony Lupin' and I cherished that.

So I went on for years, until the both of us realised that it was more than that. I was the first to realise that of course, you know how thick Padfoot can be at times. I had read too many books about romance not to know denial when I picked up on the slightest hint of it.

I started looking at him with different eyes: I asked myself whether I found him attractive, on a physical level or personality-wise. And yes, I did. I found myself following him with my eyes more than ever. Suddenly, or well, more consciously, I started minding how openly he flirted with half the population of Hogwarts, and how fleeting his feelings for our classmates were. I started to feel like I would never stand a chance against the others, male or female. Hell, I didn't even know which way/s he swung!

But you know... I was not put into Gryffindor for no reason. You see Harry, people believe that Gryffindors should never be scared of anything and be brave all the time. That is a whole lot of bollocks! Gryffindor is the house of the brave because we are afraid, and we admit that. The 'brave part' comes from our loyal tendency to face our fears, even the worst of them, to help the people we love.

So I used the Gryffindor strength in me to confront my feelings for Padfoot, and my fears of being rejected. I showed him a muggle song I had recorded, and with that I confessed. Padfoot, thick as always, took a while to realise what the song meant, but when he did, he came to me and embraced me. He told me 'same Moony, same' and we kissed. Our love still burns to this day."

I smile at the endearing story, before asking the million-galleon question:

"Moony, that was a beautiful story, but.... Why are you telling me this?" He chuckles.

"Well Harry, you see, Padfoot and I had already been best friends for years before we got together, so our relationship was already very grounded. As soon as we confessed our love we knew all our secrets. The thing is, you already admitted your feelings for Marvolo and he did as well, but you guys have no base to build your relationship on, apart from physical and romantic attraction." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "Cub, you are almost an adult in the eyes of our world, but Marvolo has been that for a while. You are young and may want to experiment before settling, but he knows what he wants and is ready to give it his all, and I think he sees it as long-term. I am not saying that your feelings are not sincere and Padfoot and I were also young, but there is a big age and knowledge gap between you two, and although that is quite common in our world, it makes for an imbalance in the relationship. If you're not sure that this is forever, then you should let him know, so you can end things. If you are sure though, then you should invest in this relationship, by building a friendship-like base. Many great relationships emerge from friendships, and I think from what you told me earlier, Marvolo might have been the most upset about the fact that you didn't seem to trust him enough, to show him what you can do. His goal was to help you, and to him it seemed like you rejected his help. Now I'm not saying that you should broaden that gap between the two of you by relying on him completely, but if you take the first step and rely on him with this, I'm sure he will feel able to rely on you as well.

Now do with this knowledge what you will cub, but think this through. Pads and I love you and wouldn't want you to get hurt or accidentally hurt someone."

Moony ruffles my hair before standing up and going back inside, while I am still left sitting on the grass. Then I also get up.

I have made up my mind.

---

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Tom smirks and I bite my lip.

I want to talk to him about an idea I had, but I don't know how to approach the topic. So I decide to go full on Gryffindor, just like Moony, and say:

"IwanttocourtyouaswellandIwantyoutoknowthatItrustyouandwillshowyoueverythingIcantomorrow, alright?!" I breath heavily, but Tom just looks at me like I've gone crazy.

"Pardon?" He says and I sigh before sitting down in the armchair across from him.

"I want to court you as well and I want you to know that I trust you and will show you everything I can tomorrow..." I say, now less confident. Moony said that our relationship was in-equal and I thought courting him back would equalize it a bit.

"Thank you. I really appreciate that... But I must ask, what brought this new revelation on?" He asks and I tell him roughly what Moony told me, leaving out that bit about him and Sirius. "looks like I must thank your little wolf then." I roll my eyes, but smile at him.

"Anyhow, Violet said that dinner was ready and knowing the twins, they are already stuffing their faces. Sirius and Remus also passed me in the hall, so I'm assuming they're already seated as well." I tell him and offer him the my arm — my first step towards courting him.

He takes my arm, smiling at me contently and we make our way to the dining room.

A/N Hulloooo... I know, it's been ages and I'm very sorry. The past few weeks and the next weeks were and will continue being hectic as I'm preparing to change continents (for a year). I'm sure as soon as I'm fully moved in I will be able to post more regularly, but I assure you, I'm trying as hard as I can. TMI, I know. Anyhow, I hope you all are doing well and that you liked this chapter!

As always, stay happy and healthy, and if you like this story please comment and vote!

Luv, Salazar ♡