What Made Me

10-How to save a life

Eva

It was time. Time to let all the pain and hurt go. But how could I tell them what happened? I would only be putting them in more danger.

Dad already hated Sassy because she became a distraction for Bryson. He was supposed to become the new Boss in a little while so Dad needed him to stay focused. I knew that He was already cooking up plans to take Sassy out of the picture. Permanently.

Bryson was my brother, and all I wanted since we were children was for him to save me from our father. Even without having an actual conversation with him in years, I knew exactly how he was. He was loyal to dad to a fault sometimes. No matter how wrong it seemed, he would do as he was told. But this was something I knew he couldn't take just by looking at his sad eyes. The way he stared at me, analyzing every mark and bruise on my body, I knew that this wasn't forgivable. He would stop at nothing to make our father pay.

Wasn't that a good thing?

Maybe, but my father had a lot of men to back him up in any situation. If he pursued dad he'd more than likely wind up dead. It was too late for that now though. He was already planning his death, so why not give him the reason he's looking for?

I looked at him and Sassy and realized that I was safe now. Even if only for a short period of time, I finally had someone to confide in. Someone to share my pain with. So I told them my story.

Four years ago...

Today was my 12th birthday. And like any other birthday I was going to do absolutely nothing. Dad always told me I didn't deserve to celebrate this day, 'cause it was the day I killed my mama.

Bryson would usually bring me a gift. Something he made or bought with money daddy gave him.

And that's what I was doing right now. Waiting for him to bring me my gift this year. Last year he bought me a beautiful necklace that had a cattleya dangling from it. It was my favorite flower. I never really wore it because I knew dad would take it from me. If I did wear it I tucked it away in secret.

Bryson and I weren't really close, but the fact that he thought of me every year brought a feeling to my heart I was too young to explain.

I was sitting in my room when my father kicked in the door angry. What did I do now?

"Get the fuck up!" He yelled.

I scrambled from my bed standing, only to be yanked by my arm towards the bathroom. He led me over to the trashcan and bent me in front of it.

"What the fuck is this?" He pointed to the bloody material wrapped in pink plastic.

I had just started my period and started panicking. I called Marisol, the housekeeper, and she told me that I had started my period. She gave me some pads and went to buy me more for next time. Being ahead two years in school I had already took health class and was aware of what it was. It just took me by surprise seeing all that blood.

"You think you're a woman now?!" He screamed at me some more. "I'll show you what women get."

He dragged me down the stairs and I screamed for him to let me go. I don't know where anyone else was. It seemed like it was only me and him here. Alone. He led us down to the basement and into one of the rooms. It was barren with only a bed which was more like a cot. He threw me on to it and stalked towards me. I coward away from the crazy look in his eyes. Never has he looked at me like that before. Usually it was just anger this...this was something else.

He tore my shirt from my body and my bra along with it. He stared at my newly developed breasts. I tried to cover myself, but he yanked my arms away.