Heart Asunder (Dear Dahlia Season 2)

Chapter 14

Rahim lit the lantern. Beside him, Wadi slung her bag onto her shoulder.

"Ready?" The durast asked.
"Ready," Wadi replied, and they stepped out onto the streets.

Novyi Zem was different at night. A different kind of beautiful, but eerie nonetheless. The two parents walked across the pavement. Boisterous laughter floated out from one of the pubs, and the bang of a fist slamming onto a table made Rahim jump. Then, he steeled himself as Wadi glanced at him worriedly. Be brave.

Rahim held the lantern higher to light his and Wadi's way. The parents looked into alleyways, roamed the streets and checked all the stalls. People gave them confused looks, but Rahim ignored them. Maybe it was because they were Suli, but he doubted it.

Well, if he could call himself that. In reality, the colonists had forcefully lumped the indigenous groups under one term, like a stain. They'd banded together out of solidarity. The original names for them were thought to have been lost to time. Now, they were just that: Suli. Some Suli settled, and others traveled. It had, unfortunately, become the way of this world.

Rahim glanced to the side. There were some Ravkan soldiers laughing together. Rahim grabbed hold of Wadi's hand and dove into the crowd.

Hours passed. They looked around the docks and asked around at the other inns. Was it suspicious? Maybe. But as Tamar had said, Rahim and Wadi looked parent-y, and when the receptionists couldn't find anything, they extended their deepest sympathies and wished the parents Eid Mubarak in advance.

It was three am when Rahim and Wadi walked back to the inn. Wadi was silent. Rahim remembered her saying the night search might be useless. It had been, in a way.

Rahim stepped through the hotel doors. He walked past the library, and glanced at it. Wadi had said he was brave, but that wasn't entirely true. There were plenty of times he hadn't been. Like pushing down his counterpoint and agreeing with Wadi to not tell Dahlia they were grisha. His own daughter. Rahim wanted to scoff at himself now. He hadn't spoken up, and for what? To protect her? He and Wadi had lost Dahlia's trust because of it. It wouldn't be the first time, he thought with a sigh.
"Do you want to go in?" Wadi asked. "The library's open."
Rahim paused. "I'm okay for now."

He glanced through the window. It was warm and cozy, not like the library Rahim had worked at in his teenage years. As the two entered their bedroom and started to wind down, Rahim pursed his lips, trying to push down the unwelcome memory, but it resurfaced anyway.

When Rahim was sixteen, Wadi's and Naima's relationship had worsened. There were arguments. Naima had forbidden Wadi to visit Rahim. Worse, Rahim had enabled it. She'd visited him in the library. He'd been stocking the shelves when she'd appeared.
"I need to talk to you," Wadi had urgently said.
"Not right now," he'd said quietly, initially on board.
"Please," she begged. He'd turned to her then.
"Wadi, you can't visit me. She said that, herself."
"And you're just going to let that happen?" Wadi had stepped back. "You're just-"
"Look, I know why she doesn't like me, and why she doesn't like you visiting me. How long is this going to go on? Months? Years?"
Wadi watched him, eyes wide. "You're not seriously suggesting that we cut each other off?"

Rahim had gripped the shelf then. A wave of tiredness had washed over him. Wadi constantly snuck off to talk to her best friend, sometimes venting about Naima's view of her and her power.
"Naima said that because she knows what you do."
"She said it because-"

Rahim had climbed down from the ladder, then turned to face her. His patience was gone. "She said it," he hissed, "because if I die, you'll be alone. And with everything we are, I will die."

When Wadi's face fell, he wished he hadn't said that.

"You'd rather die alone?" Anger set on her face. "Fine," she'd spat, and had walked off then, the library doors slamming shut behind her.

Watching Wadi walk away from him, Rahim had only thought of how stupid he'd been, how cowardly, because he'd let the rules of a woman who despised him cloud his judgment and push away the love of his life.

Now, the bathroom lock clicked, and Wadi came out of the bathroom. She changed into her nightgown before slipping into the bed. Rahim lay down next to her. Wadi looked at him. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

"Goodnight," he said quietly.
Wadi stared up at the ceiling. "It wasn't useless," she said into the silence.

Exhausted from the search, Rahim fell asleep before he could hear his wife's reply.