Heart Asunder (Dear Dahlia Season 2)

Chapter 5

CONTENT WARNING: Physical harrassment

Dahlia and Saida walked down the beaten path in silence. The otkazat'sya glanced at her sister, who continued staring ahead. Then, she cleared her throat.

"Um. Why did you...turn around back then?"
"Turn around?"
"When we left the Little Palace. It was like you spotted something." Dahlia wanted to take her mind off the incident at the house.
"...Baghra," Saida said finally, still looking ahead. "She saw us leave."

Dahlia's eyes widened. Her heart pounded. "Did she-"
"No, she didn't. She'd never tell him."

Out of the corner of her eye, Dahlia saw Saida slightly move her fingers. As soon as she felt her heart start to slow down, Dahlia grabbed Saida's hand and wrenched her arm behind her back. Saida lost her balance and fell to her knees.

"Hey!" The heartrender exclaimed. Saida struggled against Dahlia's grip.
"Don't ever do that to me again," Dahlia hissed. She managed to stop herself from shaking. Saida looked up at her.

"I was trying to calm you down!"
"Don't," Dahlia said. She let Saida go, then closed her eyes and began to murmur Surah Iklaas. In an instant, the world fell away. When Dahlia prayed, this is what it was like: peaceful. No anger, no burdens. Just quiet. She relied on her religion to keep her steady. Ever since Saida had abandoned her that day, it was the only stable and constant thing she'd known.

Then, she opened her eyes, and found that Saida had got to her feet. The heartrender stepped back from her sister.
"Why do you-"

Dahlia turned. "We need to go. Find the Sikurzoi."
"Excuse me?"

Dahlia turned back around. Saida was staring at her in disbelief.

"I try to help you and you disarm me?"
"Don't try it again." Dahlia began to walk off.

"There's something wrong with you, Dahlia," Saida said quietly.

Dahlia stopped. She turned.
"I want you to promise that you'll never use it on me again."
Saida shook her head. "That's impossible."
"Then try," Dahlia snarled before continuing on the path.

Behind her, Saida scoffed. "You expect me to walk with you?"
"Where else are we going to go? The Fold?"

Saida shook her head, catching up with her sister. "If I promise to not use my power on you, you have to promise you won't attack me again if I accidentally do."

Dahlia glanced at her. "No promises."

For a moment, Dahlia saw fury in Saida's eyes. The otkazat'sya's heart rate spiked. Then, the anger faded, and Dahlia resumed walking beside her sister in silence.

_

Czarina looked around at the shops. Two weeks ago, she'd planned to enter the Fold in hopes of crossing into West Ravka, but she missed the skiff. Then it turned out the Sun Saint had actually crossed a few days afterwards, but Czarina didn't want to think about that right now.

There was a moderate breeze as Czarina walked. Kribirsk had been hit hard, and the damage surrounding her made her feel ill.

"Search the town for grisha," someone said a way away from her. "We need to find them."

Czarina's eyes widened. You're close enough, her mother's voice rang in her head. The amplifier hid behind a tree and tried to calm her heartbeat. A First Army soldier moved towards the tree. Czarina took a deep breath, said a silent prayer to Djel, and ran.

"After her!" The man yelled.

Czarina could only hear her ragged breathing and the crunch of leaves beneath her feet. Her mind flashed with memories of her escaping the drüskelle all those years ago. Was this the same thing? Both the drüskelle and the First Army thought she was grisha. And if the grisha find out I'm an amplifier, they'll kill me and wear my bones.

The Hedjut woman skidded around a corner. "There!" a woman yelled. Czarina looked around frantically. Her eyes lit up when she saw a river. She said another silent prayer to Djel before jumping into the water.

The water hears and understands. The ice does not forgive. A Fjerdan saying that was foreign to the Hedjut, but perhaps apt at this moment. Czarina breathed underwater as muffled voices yelled above her. Their yells were indecipherable. The amplifier closed her eyes and willed herself to calm her heartbeat.

It's okay, she thought to herself, it's okay. You won't die here.

There were a few more moments of bewildered shouting. Then, Czarina heard the sound of receding footsteps, and she broke to the surface, gasping for air. Dragging her dripping self out of the stream, Czarina shivered hard as she clutched onto a tree. She'd have to hide and change her name. Again. The amplifier found tears pooling in her eyes. Is this how she'd live the rest of her life? Running away, changing her name over and over, unable to use 'Luviissá'? Maybe it was too late for her. Maybe she would never be reunited with her mother.

Oh Áidná. How brave she was. How stubborn she'd been, combing every last tangle out of Czarina's hair, making her pottery and selling her wares. If they hadn't had that, they would have been in poverty. Áidná had been strong, too, able to fish and bring back meat. Once, Czarina had asked if they'd herd reindeer one day, and Áidná had smiled, "maybe, like your grandparents. If we move to a place with pastures."

Czarina had never got the chance to do it. She'd started fishing with her mother at sixteen, and at eighteen, had run away from the only home she'd ever known.

The amplifier started to search for wood. She'd need to start a fire, find a safe place to sleep, and then make her way out of here. Fjerda was impossible to travel to, with Hringkälla coming up.

Blinking back the tears that had formed, Czarina exhaled and picked up two logs.