Planning on Forever

CHAPTER 15

Their hideout was just like he remembered it and also completely different. Age painted everything, including them. There were bigger trees around the small cove than Jonah remembered, along with thicker bushes. The path seemed rarely used. Inside the cove was still as shallow as he remembered from high school. It was deep enough for them to sit with their backs against the wall and have just their toes stick out. Jonah had quickly sat on what was always considered his rock, the one closest to the opening. Tight spaces were never his thing. Usually Cole would take the rock on the furthest end, closest to the center of the cove and Vanessa would be between them. Now, Cole sat beside Jonah. 

"She looks the same." Jonah scoffed. "Okay, maybe not exactly the same but..." Jonah grunted. He knew what Cole meant. 

"I felt the same." They shared a rogue look before turning back to stare at the ground. Seeing Vanessa after so many years really does something to ones brain. It had for him. Nostalgia hit the hardest, then fondness and joy but, ultimately the sadness suffocates it all. It's a reminder of what was lost and what he'd missed out on. It was all confusing really. He felt empty, like an outsider into this great world she'd created and yet, grateful he'd walked away when he did. 

"She's still so beautiful." 

"Don't." he snapped. 

"Wha-"

"I didn't come here to be thrown back to when we were sixteen gossiping about the cute girl in class we both wanted."

"I just-"

"No," growled Jonah. "Things are different. We've been down that road and I'm not looking for a repeat."

Cole sighed before giving a firm nod. His jaw was tense. Jonah wanted to speak but all he could focus on was how different Cole looked. He'd always been a stocky man, tall with broad shoulders but there'd been a boyish quality to him too. That wasn't the case anymore. His arms were bigger, his chest too. His jaw was firmer and his gaze harder. He had the look of a man who'd seen the darkest sides of humanity. Jonah knew the look well. He'd seen many men, even boys with the same expression when he'd been to North Africa and the Middle East. It was the expression of the man who'd lost joy. "Speaking of change..." Jonah nudged him gently with his shoulder. Cole chuckled and reached for the cap on his head. He yanked it off and ran his hand through his incredibly short hair. "Whoa, what happened to your prized possession?"

Cole blushed and put his cap back on his head. "You know what happened."

"Yeah but it's still weird to see. You were all about your hair back in school. Made Vanessa jealous sometimes."

Cole's laugh was short. "Yeah, she hated that my hair was thicker than hers." Jonah grunted in agreement and then looked back at the ground. He'd been drawing random patterns with his feet. "I see some things don't change." Jonah quirked a brow at him and Cole nodded towards the ground. "You still doddle when you're anxious."

"It's grounding." 

"I get it. I developed the habit of bending vines and twigs. Sometimes just scrambling small stones in my hand. Anything to distract me."

Silence followed Cole's words; the gravity of it all settling heavily on them. Cole seemed swept up in memories and Jonah wasn't far from him. "I get it," he whispered. Cole glanced towards him. "I've never been where you have- wait, where have you been?" Cole's brows quirked and Jonah shook his head. "Never mind. Anyway, I've been to some dangerous areas too. I get it. The worry, the fear. The anxiety." Cole scoffed. "Hey I'm serious."

"I know. I've seen your profile. The Democratic Republic of Congo, Mozambique, South Sudan to name a few." 

"How?"