If Only, If Only

Girl Talk

After dinner that night, I was sitting on the floor of D Tent, reading one of the three books I had smuggled to camp.

I was tired and annoyed and just agh. Dinner had been... tense, to say the least. X-Ray couldn't tell I was upset at him, but everyone else could. Part of me was also upset with myself for being upset about a boy in the first place.

I heard what sounded like a stampede coming toward the tent, and I looked up as the rest of D Tent spilled in through the entrance, all of them were hiding laughter and tripping over one another.

I quickly got up. "Jeez, what the hell happened? Are you guys okay?"

"Oh yeah, we're fine!" Magnet said awkwardly as everyone quickly nodded and Caveman gave me a two very weird thumbs-up.

Everyone slowly fanned out, some sitting on the cots while others joined me on the floor. This made me realize X-Ray was the only one not here.

"Okay, what did you guys do to X-Ray?" I questioned with a sigh.

"Nothing!" They all said.

I looked around, calculating. Caveman sat on the floor beside Zero, looking terrified. I knew he would crack.

"Caveman," I said in a stern tone, "what's happening?"

"I- um...I uh..."

"Caveman," I said, this time sharply.

"Ok fine," Caveman confessed, despite the other boy's protests. "We told Mom X-Ray was struggling mentally and wanted to talk to him. X-Ray is cornered in the Rec Room right now and Mom is trying to get him to talk."

"Wait, what? Why?" I was so confused. What kind of.... I just.... I have no words.

"It was Squid's idea!" Caveman squealed.

"Squid?! What the hell?" I turned to my brother, who looked anything but guilty. "How could you do such a terrible thing to your friend..."

I thought of what X-Ray said earlier today. He said 'People here aren't actually friends'. Maybe X-Ray deserved the torture of having to talk to Mom. I certainly wasn't going to go save him, we weren't even friends apparently.

"Okay, you know what? I actually don't care. So, in the kindest way possible, what do you guys want now?"

"We just wanted to be here for you," Squid said, "how are things with X-Ray?"

I glared at Squid. "There are no 'things' with X-Ray."

"You aren't foolin' anyone, sweetie," Zig Zag from across the room.

"Oh, shut your trap! I think I know more about my relationships then you guys do!"

Yes, I was still on my period. But that was not the reason for my behavior, I had all right to be angry.

But what if I was being dramatic? Oh gosh, I'm pretty sure I'm being dramatic. Maybe X-Ray didn't mean what he said. He probably didn't.... Wait, no. I should not be making excuses for his shitty behavior! But maybe I should talk to him and-

"We all know that face, Scraps - you're thinking about something and then if you think about it for too long you start freaking out. What can we do to help?" Armpit said, snapping me out of my spiral.

"Thank you, I appreciate it. I just don't want to talk right now. What would help is if you guys distracted me - tell me about the people you guys have had 'things' with. Also, if you guys really want to make me feel better everyone has to pretend this is a girl's sleepover and talk in girly voices and whatnot. It'll be fun!"

Everyone groaned but eventually agreed.

Zig Zag went first. "We'll, I'm currently dating about 19 different girls, all named 'y/n'."

"Umm...okay then. We're just not going to question that," I said.

Armpit, Magnet, and Squid all shared. Magnet and Armpit had some interesting crushes from back home, but what was most shocking was that Squid also dated a girl named 'y/n'? This was news to me.

Who were these mysterious women named 'y/n'? Hell, it sounded like we were in some cringey fan fiction world.

When it was Zero's turn, he just shrugged and glanced at Caveman, who sat by him like a loyal golden retriever. An oblivious golden retriever.

I wonder if Caveman ever started teaching Zero to read. I'd have to ask later.

For Caveman's turn, he just muttered that he's never liked a girl. Key word: GIRL!!!! I don't mean to tell Caveman what gender he liked, but as his friend, it was so obvious he was not the straightest tool in the shed.

"Okay, we've all shared, and I speak for everyone when I say we feel ridiculous. The amount of time Armpit said "sisterrrr" in a girly voice is concerning. It's your turn, Scraps, now spill the beans." Squid said. Despite his disgusted words, I could hear the girl talk accent in Squid's voice. I've never heard him say 'now spill the beans', and it was quite hilarious.

"Ok, and thank you guys for doing that. I feel much better. I thought I was ready for a relationship, but I'm not. Especially mentally. Once X-Ray stops being so 'above us all', I'll consider being better friends with him. That's all I can say. I just don't want my life to revolve around boys. What I'm thinking about right now is- what is the Warden hiding?"

Everyone nodded as I continued, "Why the hell do we have to dig? It makes no sense and I'm going to find out what's happening."

"How?" Zero asked, looking interested.

"I'm breaking into the office and finding any information I can on her and this camp."

"Wait the Warden is a she?" Caveman asked, to which I nodded.

"When are you doing this?" Squid asked.

I shrugged and told him, "Soon."

Before the conversation could continue we heard angry footsteps stomping toward the tent.

"Well, shit." Magnet sighed.

Everyone turned to watch X-Ray storm into the tent.

"What the hell was that for? You traitors! You left me with Mom! And what the hell are you guys doing right now? You look like a bunch of little girls talking about boys!" He yelled before collapsing on his bed in exhaustion as everyone around him burst into laughter. "What is so funny?" He groaned in frustration.

Everyone continued laughing for a moment before X-Ray spoke again. "I'm sorry I yelled, but I'm still mad at you assholes."

No one I knew had ever apologized for yelling, but I couldn't focus on that right now.

I had a break-in to plan.