If Only, If Only

The School House

News of what happened spread like wildfire, and soon my confidence had worn out and I became overwhelmed with the attention.

To avoid it all, I hid in the tent until dinner time.

Apparently, after the fight with Lump, I became worthy of a nickname - Scrappy, or Scraps for short.

After I had wolfed down my dinner, which had been the exact same thing as last night, I quickly left the table. I was sitting on the couch in the rec room when the rest of Tent D walked in.

Shockingly, no one in Tent D had said a word to me all evening.

Squid must have told them to leave me be, because even though I had only known D-Tent for two days, I had the feeling they wanted to know all about what happened.

After watching static on the tv for a while, Mom came in.

"Time for bed! You guys really need your beauty sleep," He announced with a weird laugh..

Slowly, one by one, the boys got up and left, grumbling the whole way. I wasn't tired from digging, I was tired because I had gotten up inhumanly early.

But I also knew I wouldn't be able to sleep.

As I got up to leave, I felt a hand on my arm. I turned and saw Barfbag looking at me with large, sad eyes.

"You okay?" I asked him, wondering what this was about. Everyone had left by now, and I really wasn't in the mood for whatever Barfbag was about to say, I just know it.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" Barfbag asked me, and I nodded, though I had no idea what he would want to talk to me about. "I can't tell the guys because they'll make fun of me but...I need to leave here. Now."

I chuckled, "I know, it really does suck here,". I understood why he didn't want to tell anyone else. Some people were like wolves - once you showed your weakness, they would pounce and tear you to shreds.

"Alright, Alright," I said when I saw how serious Barfbag's face was. "Any specific reason?"

"I left my sister and mom when I came to Camp Green Lake, but I just got a letter from them saying my dad's staying at our house again. I need to be there for them, in case something happens."

I frowned and thought as best as I could. I knew what it was like to want to protect your family - it was a maddening hunger, wanting to help so bad but not knowing how to. "Okay, I'll think of something."

"I already have an idea," Barfbag said, sounding like he was dreading it. "What if I let a rattlesnake or something bite me? Then they'd send me home, right?"

I shook my head. "Barfbag, you could die. And even if you did live, it wouldn't be worth it. I don't know how the law works, but you'd probably just be sent to back the second you heal."

"I don't care. I just need to see my dad and let him know he's not welcome back, not after what he's done to us."

I sighed and hugged Barfbag. "Just give me a day or two to think of a better option. Also, your secret's safe with me, don't worry,"

Barfbag nodded and attempted to smile, but it seemed to be more of a grimace. I then told him I would meet him and the other boys at the tent in a minute, saying I had something I needed to do.

That 'something I needed to do' was pace around through camp overthinking whether or not I should have fought Lump.

If anyone questioned where I had been, I could always just say lady problems.

I was just defending myself, but now I had drawn too much attention to myself. How could I have handled that better? Ignored him? No, that's dumb, this is a juvenile camp, not the kindergarten playground. Now the boys finally respect me. But maybe I should have just kept a low profile.

And what was I going to do to help Barfbag? I'm glad he came to me before letting a rattlesnake bite him, but it felt like a lot of pressure. I wasn't used to so many responsibilities, so much socialization. I know it was selfish of me, but part of me wished he had just kept it to himself. I knew, though, that if something ever happened to him, it would be my fault.

As I continued to walk around, I stumbled upon a building that had been burned to ashes on the far side of the camp. The walls were burnt and crumbling, and an old brass bell lay in the center of the ruin.

"My grandaddy did this."

I jumped and whirled around to see the Warden behind me. She wore the same clothes she had on when I met with her earlier, but now her curly red locks were whipping in the wind instead of being confined to a bun.

"My grandaddy owned this whole lake, you know that?" The Warden said wistfully. "That is, when it was an actual lake. Owned half the town too."

"This really was once a lake?"

"Yep. This here used to be a school. Kissin' Kate Barlow taught here."

Of course you would know I thought. The Warden probably knew everything  about Kissin' Kate.

"Why did your grandad do this?" I asked quietly. We stood quietly for a moment, both of us staring at the charred building while the cold night wind danced around us, ruffling our hair.

"Why are we digging holes everyday? It sure as hell isn't to build character, so don't even start with that." I said when she didn't answer my first question. 

When the Warden never answered, I started to go back to Tent D. The Warden was still staring at the old schoolhouse long after I had left.

As the gravel crunched beneath my feet, I looked up and saw X-Ray.

"Hey," I said.

"Where were you?" He asked, sending off butterflies in my stomach. I didn't like him or anything, it was just weird that he cared where I was. My lame "lady problems" excuse flew out the window when I saw the caring look in his eyes.

"I was just walking around, thinking about stuff," I answered with a shrug.

I started to walk past him to the tent but he reached out and grabbed my hand, stopping me in my tracks. My hand instantly felt as if it was burning, my face too.

I had no idea what was happening. Though his actions were foreign, it seemed like our hands fit together perfectly.

As soon as I had the thought, he dropped my hand.

"Is everything okay? Be honest." He said sternly.

"Yeah I'm fine," was my automatic response.

"I said be honest,"

"I was being honest," - lie. "I really am fine," - lie. "Are you okay, X-Ray? Be honest," .

X-Ray stared at me for a moment, examining me before saying, "I'm fine. But I don't believe you. You're acting strange,"

I just put on a smile and shrugged.

"Oh well. Come on, we should get back before Mom flips out,", I said in an attempt to end the conversation. I then quickly walked away before he could say anything else.

It was hard to ignore the looks of confusion on everyone's face as X-Ray and I entered the tent. It was also hard to ignore the way Squid was wiggling his eyebrows at me and giving me a thumbs-up.

Nothing at Camp Green Lake was normal, but there was something else there. Camp Green Lake had layers, like an onion. Something interesting was going on beneath the surface, and I am going to find out what it is.